Friday, December 28, 2012

My Family

Yesterday, I was thinking about family, particularly my family.  For the most part, we are a close knit family.  If something interesting happens in our life, other family members will more than likely get a text or a phone call so that they can share in the happening.  We are open, always sharing in each others lives.  I credit my parents for the way we are.

I have the best parents in the entire world.  My parents began to teach us at an early age about the Lord, His saving grace and the wonders that He has done (Psalm 78:4).  They chose to teach us at home, giving us an education that showed us God throughout our studies.  We were given a great example of Christ through their lives, in the way they love us and how they love each other.  Their marriage is a great example to us on how it should be.  We always groaned when they showed affection to one another in front of us, but secretly, we didn't mind it too much.  Dad is a great spiritual leader in the family, standing steadfast in the Scripture, seeking God in decisions that he made.  Mom is a Proverbs 31 woman if I ever saw of these days I hope to be like her.  I love how well she has shown us girls how to be submissive wives.  I couldn't have ask for better parents, they love us all so much!

I also have the best siblings in the world.  They are my best friends now that we are grown up.  They were while we were growing up too, but it is different now that we are adults.  Again, for the most part we are all close, some more than others.  I love that we all have different strengths. I was commenting recently on how nice it is to call different siblings with different problems/questions.  We all have niches that we can help each other with.  I love how we can finish one another's movie quotes and how the in-laws all look at us like we are crazy when we do.  I love it when we are all together laughing at a situation, recalling past events or just laughing at how nuts our family is.  I'm happy that we've had lots of additions to the core group.  Without them, it just wouldn't be the same and we are blessed that they joined us.  One should question their sanity though.....just kidding! :)

There is nothing like family.  Nothing else can replace the group of people that God put you in when you were born.  As crazy as my family can be, I wouldn't trade them for anything!   I miss them a lot but I'm grateful that they are just a phone call away. 

P.S. I'm also happy that I married into another great Godly family, with another great set of parents! I wouldn't trade them for anything either.  The family keeps getting bigger!

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Merry Christmas

Here was our 2012 Christmas may be getting one in the mail, you may not be.  That is because this was my first year doing picture Christmas cards and I didn't order enough. Who knew we had so many people to send them to?!  So, I'm doing the next best thing and wishing you Merry Christmas via the web, which is slightly impersonal, sorry!

Next thing.....we (Mr. E did most of the work while I supervised) put up lights on our house, something that I haven't done much of since I left home.  Yes, I've decorated, but not by lighting up the outside like I used to do at my parent's house.  Forgive the bad pics at night just don't turn out very well.

The stocking tradition continues.  This year I got to make one for my husband.  It is exciting to be able say that during the holidays!  I know that may sound like a little thing, but for me, it isn't.  (FYI, he did get his name on the top!)

This last picture I took this morning whilst up at the unearthly hour of 6 am.  (The older I get, the more I realize I'm not a morning person!)

There was such a distinct line in the sky between the light and the darkness.  When I was in school, my mom had us memorize Scripture.  I still can remember all the passages that I learned, including John 3 where it talks about light and darkness in verses 19-21 (KJV).

"And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.  But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God."

Jesus came as a baby to this world to give it light.  But even though He is the light of the world, there is still darkness.  The darkness only goes away when it is exposed to the light.  Darkness can never overcome the light, the only way that darkness comes is when the light is taken away.  There are so many people in this world who don't like the light, who don't want to know the the truth of who they are shown to them and have their deeds exposed.  Unfortunately, they don't realize the freedom that coming to the Light, Jesus, will bring to their life.   Yes, their sinfulness will be exposed, but God also says earlier in that same passage that,

 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes on Him, should not perish, but have everlasting life.  God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."

He didn't come to condemn, He came to save us from our sins and eternal death, showing His glory for all the world to see.  

I hope you remember why we celebrate this time of the year.  Without the Light of World coming to the earth as a baby, we all would be in utter darkness.

Merry Christmas and have a blessed coming year.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Worn out!

I'm such a busy lady! This week is the first week this month that I have time to be at home and get some things done that I have neglected.  I don't have much time to do this however as Christmas is quickly approaching. 

We had a great Thanksgiving, ate great food and enjoyed the company of family and friends.  Last week was also a week of hunting, slaying deer to fill up our freezer.  I got my first buck so that was exciting.  I have the best hunting guide in the world!

God has been showing Mr. E and me His provision in our lives.  It seems like every time I begin to worry about things and how they are going to work out, God just makes an easy pathway for us.  I know that that won't always be the case, trials are a part of life, but I've enjoyed seeing how He has worked out things that in some cases, I didn't even know they needed to be worked out.

 Although I am so excited for Christmas this year, memories are still in the back of my mind.  They were on my brain last week too.  Sometimes those memories make me smile, sometimes they are difficult.  Last week, they were difficult.  I sometimes think that I've come to the point that things are all good, but then I have days like I did last week and I feel knocked down.  I was reading through my Bible study this morning and it talked about God being the healer.  I know He's healed me from lots, but I pray He continues to keep healing me, because I need it!

Monday, November 5, 2012

God's Beauty

This weekend I got to see so much of God's beauty.  There are many times when I'm in God's nature that I don't really notice what is around me.  This weekend was different, I stopped and looked around me.  The sunset on Saturday was gorgeous.  I watched some birds fly, in a perfect V.  I began to contemplate some of the little details, such as the birds flying in a V, that God put into everything that He created.  I was reminded this weekend of the verses in Matthew 6 when it talks about not being anxious about our lives because we are of more value than the birds of the air that God takes care of so well. 

It was a good reminder for me because lately I've been struggling with not being anxious.  I want to take control of my life, wanting things done in my timing.  After this weekend, I'm trying to step back and remind myself that God only is in control of my life.  I know this is something I struggle with daily and I need to start giving this to the Lord, knowing that He will take care of my worries. 

Tuesday, October 2, 2012


Mr. E and I have been traveling again.  We began our travels out in the wild.....ok, maybe not the wild, but we were out in the fields hunting down an antelope.  Mr. E gave me the opportunity to get a shot at my first antelope.  We tried to get one but it was too jumpy and would stay long enough in one place for us to even get close to it.  The next one that we came up on, had us in a stand-off for at least 10-15 minutes.  It stood and snorted at us all the while staring us down.  At one point, it pawed the ground like it was going to charge.  It finally turned broadside and the results are below.

We then went to Oklahoma City.  We went to the OK City Memorial.  That will tear your heart out.  They have a chain link fence that people still come to and put little trinkets on.  Seeing some of the pictures of the people who passed away there was hard.  It came to mind that that is probably the only burial site for some, if not all, of the people who died there.  The 168 chairs are the most difficult to see.  At first I didn't notice, but Mr. E pointed out that there were large and small chairs.  The large representing the adults and the small ones the children.  I took a phone picture, but it does not do it justice, not even close.

Monday, September 24, 2012


I began a new study on the names of God.  Actually it is through church again, but before I knew that they were studying this, I had already purchased a study on this topic for myself. 

I was going through my lesson this morning and Isaiah 43 was where I ended up.  Verse 1 says, Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine! Verse 7, Everyone who is called by My name and whom I have created for My glory, whom I have formed, even whom I have made....

What a great thing in verse one, I have been redeemed, I am His!  Sometimes I just need to be reminded of that.  Then the other verse, I have been created for His glory.   I don't know about you, but I don't always give Him glory.  Because He created me and I am His, everything that I do should bring Him glory.  Talk about convicting!  So often, I spend time trying to please the people around me, and I forget that the One that I should be pleasing is God.  My prayer is that I can keep that in the forefront of my mind and that I bring Him the glory that He deserves.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Saying Hi

Hello, I'm still here, I've just been busy.

It is finally cooling down a bit in Texas.  We are finally out the 100s!  I was just outside and the morning was perfect.  I love living out in the country where I can see the gorgeous sunrises, sunsets and the bright stars. 

Our garden flourished this summer and I have been spending lots of time freezing and canning the produce.  I had no idea that a garden would do so well in the desert but I am so grateful that it did.  We have a freezer and shelves full of produce.  I think it is slowly dying now, well, I only say that because the zucchini plants aren't producing as much. :) Now that the garden is tapering off, I may find some more time to blog.

This week, I have been contemplating on what God has done in my life.  I began a Bible study on the names of God and just looking at the list of them is overwhelming.  When I was reading through the list, I noticed how many of them I have personally experienced.  I couldn't help but feel blessed that I am His child.  He is sufficient for everything that I need and I am in want for nothing with Him as my heavenly Father.  

Saturday, August 11, 2012


This week, I traveled with Mr. E again.  I love the fact that I can go with him when he leaves town.  Although he was gone a lot on this trip, I would rather see him for a little time than to not see him at all. He means so much to me.  I certainly couldn't imagine my life without him. 

While we were eating dinner one night last week, we were talking about how uncomfortable I am with speaking in public.  I get extremely nervous.  It was bad enough playing piano in church, but in that situation, the focus isn't on the pianist, hopefully! My mind went back to the last time that I spoke in public, at Jared's funeral.  It was then that the flashback occurred.  What flashed in my head was not the speaking in public, but of the first sight that I saw when I was finished.   It was suggested to me before the funeral that I appoint someone to be ready to take over my "speech", just in case I couldn't get through what I wanted to say.  I asked my brother, Tim.  He was the first person I saw when I was done, and he was crying.  He said later that it was a good thing that I got through it, because he would have been in no shape to take over!  Sitting across the table from Mr. E that night, I got tears in my eyes thinking about that memory. The support I had during that time was incredible, even though some of those people were hurting just as much as me.  I couldn't begin to thank people enough for everything that they did and I would venture to say, most of the time they didn't even know how much they helped.

Monday, July 23, 2012

God's reminders

Mr E. is on a business trip this week, so since I am unemployed, I get to accompany him.  I am currently sitting at Starbucks and I just finished working on some of my Bible study lessons that I was behind in.  These lessons that I did today were perfect reminders to me.

A couple of weeks ago someone approached me about helping out with a certain ministry.  It was interesting timing because I had just been talking with Mr. E about wanting to get involved with some type of ministry, I just didn't know what direction to go in.  I was told to pray about it, which I have been doing.  However, one of the things that holds me back when I'm approached with things like these are my own insecurities.  I begin to feel that I am so inadequate for things like this.  Why me, what can I offer?  I'm just little ol' me, nothing special.  I'm sure there are more qualified people.

Today's Bible study was a God's gentle reminder to me.....ok, maybe a swift kick in the pants instead.

First reminder:
Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb I knew you and before you were born I consecrated you.  (My name Elizabeth means consecrated to God) He planned out a purpose for me even before I was conceived. I don't need to worry about it.

Two examples, David (Goliath) and Elijah (prophets of Baal) were given seemingly insurmountable assignments.  However, God had prepared them both ahead of time for accomplishing His will in each of these events.  He gives us the strength in our weaknesses.  Phil 4:19 "My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."  God has enough grace to get us through anything He places in front of us!  2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness".  Paul goes onto say in that verse, "Most gladly therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."  I know that I would rather feel weak in my strength and let God's power take over instead too!

Second reminder:
2 Chronicles 20

Not only does he prepare us ahead of time for the things that He has planned, he already has a plan in mind before He calls us.  So often if something comes up in my life that I have to deal with, I sit and try to figure out how it is all going to work out.  This reminder was great.....God already has it all worked out.  My job, trust that He will work it out.

In 2 Chronicles 20, Judah was about to be invaded by Moab and Ammon.  Jehoshaphat was afraid, but in verse 3 it says, he turned his attention to seek the Lord.  He prayed to the Lord in verse 6, "Power and might are in Your hand, so that no one can stand against you." Verse 12, "For we are powerless before this great multitude who are coming against us; nor do we know what to do, but our eyes are on You".  In verse 15 through 17 is God's response.  Here are some quotes from that section that stood out to me, "for the battle is not yours but God's" and "stand and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf".  Look what happened when a fearful Jehoshaphat turned his eyes to the Lord.  God comforted him and told him that He was in control.  Jehoshaphat didn't have to run around panicking, wondering how they were going to fight.  God already had a plan to solve the problem.  Because of Jehoshaphat's weakness, God's power shown through.  He goes before us in everything!

These were great reminders to me this to just remember them!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Who knew zucchini could get so big? (these were fed to some chickens)

What to do with the overabundance of zucchini?

Lots of zucchini bread!!!

Had to brag on my husband a bit.  He surprised me with's he the greatest! 

Monday, July 16, 2012

3 years

I will forever remember this day from 2009.  I really don't know how to put into words what this day means to me.   I will say, this day is much improved from three years ago.

I let myself think back on that day this morning as I was driving home.  I haven't done that much.  It isn't that I want to think about it, I just don't feel like I need to dwell on that day.  Anyway.  I recall the huge emptiness that I felt.  I looked at the people who were around me that day and most everyone had a spouse with whom they could find comfort.  I remember selfishly thinking that that wasn't fair.  The one person who was supposed to be with me through all the tough times was in heaven.  I was now alone.

In today's lesson in my Jonah Bible study, the author asked us to record some details about a time when God inexplicable brought positive results out of negative beginnings.  Three years later, I can see so many positive results from what seemed like a negative beginning.  Don't get me wrong, three years ago, I was having a hard time seeing what good could come of Jared's death.  Being three years removed I can look back and see how God will take something "tragic" and use it for His good.  That's why it is hard to put into words what this day is like for me.  As hard as that day was, I've learned so much from it.  Jared was/is? a wonderful man, I learned many things from him, one being learning what it meant to praise God even through suffering.  I was blessed to have him in my life.

This year is different than the past two years.  This year, I have the great blessing of having Mr. E as my husband.  I'm not alone anymore.  Mr. E has changed what this day means for me, but sorry, I can't describe what all that means.  All I can say is that God has continued to bless me and I could never thank Him enough for what He has done for me and will continue to do in mine and Mr. E's lives together.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012


Last week, Mr. E and I were able to go to Colorado.  Wow! I had driven through there as a little kid, but I don't remember anything about that trip. It is an amazing place! We went to some national parks and drove all over the state seeing landscapes that I cannot even describe.  Believe me, the pictures don't do it justice.  My favorite part was the train trip we took on the last day we were there.  The train dropped us off in the middle of nowhere and we hiked up to a beautiful river to fly fish.  My husband was in his element and it was fun to see how much he enjoys it.  He was patient enough to teach me to fly fish and I now understand why he loves it so much. I still need more practice, but I can't wait to try it again.  It was an incredible trip.  I felt like God also showed me a few things that I need to let go of and to work on in my life as well.  All in all, it was a great trip.

Our cabin

The lake down the road from our cabin.
One of the many beautiful places we traveled through.

Red Top Mountain

Needle Rock near Crawford, CO
Black Canyon National Park - I've never seen anything like it!

Spruce Tree House, Mesa Verde National Park

View from Balcony House, Mesa Verde National Park
Coal burning train that took us to the river to fly fish.

My handsome man, doing what he loves!
My first fly fishing catch.
View from the train
The train....again.
Fly fishing on the river in CO.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012


Last week was a week that I would not like to repeat anytime soon.  It wasn't too bad, just painful.  I had some oral surgery a week ago and I'm just now getting the point where I don't have to take ibuprofen every few hours.  Eating has been interesting.....yeah, I don't recommend this diet.  :)   Mr. E has been wonderful, he cooked things I could actually eat, he's so great!  Needless to say, in this process, I've had lots of downtime.  That can be a good thing, but for me, it gives me lots of time to think.

I'm learning something about myself.  If I am not careful I can let my mind start to run in all different directions.  I am really good at coming up with scenarios in my head and going with them. These can be both good and bad scenarios.  I can wonder about things and/or try to figure out how I can do them or fix them. I will even spend time second guessing myself on things that have already happened, did I do it right?, what didn't I do right?, was that what I was supposed to do in the first place?, etc.  Most of the time when I begin to think this way, I forget to turn to God.  I forget that He already has a plan and direction for me to go.  I forget that His ways are higher than my ways, His thoughts higher than my thoughts.  I forget that He can take my messes and turn them into something good.  After this past week, I need to remember to pray to have God "capture my thoughts" (as a friend always tells me) and begin to dwell on Scripture to help me turn my thoughts towards Christ.

Sidenote.  This is something I read yesterday that I want to remember in the future when I read through this blog again someday.  It was in the context of losing a spouse.

That person can either be a spring of gratitude and joy, or they can be a fountain of bitterness and pain.  It is entirely up to you.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012


Finally, some garden pictures for you to enjoy!  Sorry the pictures aren't the greatest quality, they were taken with my phone. We have cantaloupes, cucumbers, zucchini, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, hot peppers, green beans, potatoes and okra planted.  We are getting some produce now, not a lot, but enough to keep us going out to the garden everyday to make sure there is nothing else to pick! The second to the last picture is the watering system that automatically waters every other day.  Each row has its own water running to it.  Works out great! Thankfully we live out in the country and we have our own water well, so we are not under the same watering restrictions that the city has put in place in town.

Sunday, June 17, 2012


On Wednesday, I began a ladies Bible study at church.  It is the first one that I have done with a group of ladies since right after Jared past away.  When I attended that one, it fit perfectly with what I was going through.  This study is no different.  To tell you the truth, I think it is going to rock my world a bit.  We are going to go through the book of Jonah and the intro session already has me thinking......a lot.  The subtitle of the study is "an interrupted life".

I will let you in on a bit about me.  I don't like to have my life interrupted.  I like to plan out a week, a couple of weeks or even a month at a time.  Any guesses as to how often everything goes as planned?  My guess, which is not really a guess, is never.  I'm not sure why I still get frustrated when things don't go as planned because I should be used to my plans being thwarted by now!  However, I am not.  This has become more evident now that I am married and someone else has plans too! :) Anyway, back to the study.  The writer of the study mentioned how frustrated Jonah was when God interrupted his plans, he tried to run away to get out of what God called him to do.  Do we always jump to do what God is calling us to do?  Do we think of God's plans as interruptions or do we get excited because He is including us in His will?  Personally, I lean towards thinking that His plans are interruptions instead of divine interventions.  I hope to change that soon!

Here is a quote that I just read that kinda goes along with this post.  This is how I sometimes feel when God changes my plans.

We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us, we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.  C.S. Lewis

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Camp 2012

I just returned from one of my favorite weeks of the week.

My church took about 230 5th and 6th graders to camp.  It was such fun.  It was different going as a volunteer this time, but I enjoyed having more interaction with the kids.  It was a hard week with little sleep, cafeteria food (it wasn't too bad though) and being away from Mr. E, but when I heard of kids receiving God's grace and love and becoming His child, it made it all worth it.

Life is good. We are finally settled in and hopefully we will be getting into a normal routine soon.  I've been waiting for this week for a while now, knowing that camp was the last thing that we had on our radar.

God really is showing both of us His goodness.  Although our schedules have been busy and we seem tired all the time, we can look at our lives and see that He is walking with us.  We are keeping Him in the center of our lives and looking to Him for the next steps that He would like us to take. We are staying open to His leading, but in the meantime we are content where He has us.   God is so good!

Thursday, May 24, 2012


My mind has been going in all different directions in the past few weeks, trying to figure out what my purpose is in life.  Like I told you in my last post, I need to just wait on the Lord right now, but that doesn't stop my mind from still going.  I think I have finally narrowed down what I have been thinking through. The subject of identity.

All my life, I have had some kind of identity, or the job that identified me.  One of the first things people will ask when you meet them is "what do you do?".  I've been a child, a student, an assistant manager, a student again, a medical assistant, a widow, a ministry director and now a wife.  For most of those "identities", especially the job related ones,  I received training of some kind.  I was taught what to do and I did it.  There was no manual for the widow identity or now for the wife identity.  Yes, the Bible tells us some rules/guidelines to follow, but for the everyday life of being a wife there really isn't a training book.  Being a wife is now my only "job" and I'm still learning what that all means.  I'm trying figure out what that looks like for me, because everyone is different.  I can't just look at any wife, follow her example and do exactly what she does.  I can gain ideas, but her life isn't my life.

While I was thinking about all of this, I realized that I shouldn't just identify myself as a wife.  My true identity should be found in Christ.  First and foremost, I should be identified as a follower of Christ and learning what that means in my life.  I want to be known as His child before I'm known for anything else.  I do think that if I strive to be like Him, everything else will fall into place.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Still working on it

I am working on/messing around with the look of my blog.  I want to change it up, make it a bit different that it had been in the past.  This will probably include changing the content also, because my life is so much different than when I began this blog in 2009.  I guess I want a new start and that includes the look of the blog.  I think I need to do some research before I do anything else, I have no clue what I am doing.  It might be like this for awhile though until I can figure it all out.  The picture at the top is an engagement picture that we took, just so you know they aren't just random feet. :)

God has really been working on me.  I can't say that I like it, but when you are married you learn a lot about yourself.   Believe me, I wouldn't change anything, but I realized that God is refining me through having a husband.  It has been a learning process for me.  Right now, I think God is teaching me to be still.  I have spent so much time "doing" because I had to, that is has been difficult for me to rest and relax.  Mr. E tells me that is my chance to take a break for a while and I should enjoy myself, but it is hard for me.  I find fulfillment in keeping busy and being needed, but I think God is teaching me that I need to be satisfied in Him first and then I will feel fulfilled in everything that He gives me and will use me as He sees fit.  I just need to wait and rest in the knowledge that He knows the direction that He wants me to go and the plan that He has for me, I mean us.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

House and pictures

Finally getting a chance to blog.

First of all, I love being married to Mr. E!  It is so nice to have a husband walking by my side.

I have had some mixed emotions this past week.  On Monday, we closed on the house that I owned, the one that Jared bought.  I had no idea that I was going to have the emotions that I had.  Thankfully, I had my breakdown in the week prior, so there were no emotions at the closing. :)  I don't know why it hit me, but when the thought that this was the final thing that was left of my other life, I couldn't hold it in.  I think a lot of it had to do with all the changes in my life, the stress of getting everything out of the house and lack of sleep.  I still can't express what I was feeling, but I guess it doesn't really matter.  I'm glad that I can move on and I was fine when it was all finished. I'm so glad that I have a new life ahead of me to look forward to and I'm extremely excited about it.  God continues to bless and provide for us and I hope that I never forget all that He has done and will continue to do.  Speaking of the new life..........

We got the wedding pictures back!  Here are a couple of them.  Enjoy!

This last picture is a cool one.  Mr. E's friend suggested this unity rope about two days before the wedding.  Using the verse in Ecclesiastics that says, "a three-fold cord is not easily broken", we braided a rope that had significance to each color white, purple and yellow..........I know there was meaning for the color association, but I don't remember them right now.  The ironic thing, purple and yellow were our accent colors to white and black.   Worked out quite well to say the least.  :)

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Weekend thoughts

On Thursday and Friday I was again able to volunteer for my favorite conference at the church I attend.  I think I get more out of the conference than the people that are attending!

Throughout the weekend you hear testimonies of people who tell about struggles in their lives and how God is walking or has walked them through the difficult times.  I know that God had me there for one specific thing that one particular woman talked about.  She was talking about her home life growing up and how her dad had died when she was young.  She had to then become self-sufficient and learned to do a lot on her own.  After she was married, she still had that same mentality and it was a struggle for her and her husband.

Wow.  That pretty much summed up some things that I am going through as a new wife.  I am so used to having to do things on my own that I am struggling to let my husband help me.  This includes physical things and emotional things.  Although I was married before, I had to continue to be the strong one in those few weeks (just to clarify, I was fine with that, I was there to be his helper).  I am now married to someone (other than God) who can help me with the burdens and struggles that I have.  However, it is difficult for me to let go and have someone help me, for fear I may have to be on my own again........ it has happened before.  I can't live in that fear.  God has given me a Godly man who will pray for me and help me to work through the things that weigh me down and I need to let him.  I was thankful that God showed me that this is a weak spot in my life that I need to turn over to Him.  His grace will always be sufficient, no matter what.

In my Bible reading today this is what I read, He repeats Himself for a couple of verses. It is something that I need to repeat over and over to myself also.

Psalm 115:9-11:

O Israel, trust in the Lord; He is their help and their shield.
O house of Aaron, trust in the Lord; He is their help and their shield.
You who revere the Lord, trust in the Lord; He is their help and their shield.

Saturday, April 7, 2012

He makes beautiful things

God talks to me in various ways, but I think music is the way that I hear Him speak to me the most.  Nature is another way, but with that I feel overwhelmed by Him and how awesome He is.

There is a song, not sure of the title, but it goes:

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

Then the song goes on to talk about how He makes us new in Him.

This song is how I feel my life is right now.  Out of all the pain that I have experienced, He is really making beautiful things.  And I can see it!!!  Not that I couldn't see it before, because I could, it is just that it is so very blatant now with my new life with my husband.

I have yet to see any wedding pictures, so I thought I would share a picture of the two of us on our honeymoon.  We had such a great time and this was definitely a place that I saw the awesomeness of our Creator!

Monday, March 19, 2012

Never Once

We've sung this song at church a couple of times.  I don't know who sings it, but the gist of the song is that God is with us all the time.  Part of the song goes:

"Never once did we ever walk alone, never once did You leave us on our own, You are faithful, God, You are faithful."

Every time I have heard this song, it reminds me of how I've never been alone in my journey.  There have been times that I have felt alone, but that hasn't been the case, God has always been there.  He is so faithful, even when we are not.  He loves me and cares about every detail of my life.  I'm so glad that I'm His and He will never let me go.

My life is great! I'm getting ready to marry the man I love and I can't wait to be his wife and begin our lives together.  Here is one of our engagement pictures.  He's so handsome!  :)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Here me are!

Good morning Saturday!

Yes, I am trying to pep myself up.  I would like nothing better today than to curl up on the couch and watch a movie or immerse myself in a book.  Unfortunately, that is not going to happen today.

I apologize for my lack of posts.  I am busier now than I have been in a very long time.  I look back at my life six months ago and I thought I was busy then, HA! 

In my last post I told you all I was getting married.  Sidenote, I'm so excited!  What I did not tell you is that Mr. E and I decided a while back that when we got engaged we did not want a long engagement.  So......we are planning a wedding for the end of this month.  Yikes!  I'm also trying to sell my house.  Double yikes!  All in all, it is going very smoothly.  It is all coming together, although not always in my timing, but when I know that God's timing is always perfect, I know that everything will get done.  Yes, I have to tell myself that several times in a day. 

This has also been a testing time for me.  I'm fairly certain I've been failing at it.  It has been very difficult for me to have patience and trust that God will work everything out.  I get upset with myself because I know this, I've see Him work so many times, but I keep forgetting!  Thankfully, His mercies are new every morning and He has given me a laid-back, Godly man who prays for me and takes everything very calmly.  :) 

I just wanted to thank you all for your well-wishes for me and Mr. E.  I may not always respond, but know that I read them and I love hearing from you all and how you came about finding my blog.

I will continue to post, but know that for the next month or so, it may be sporadic.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Where do I begin..... tell the story of how great a love can be?  If you know that song, it is one of my favorites, especially to play on the piano.  I've never seen the movie "Love Story", so I don't know why the song was written, but the music is beautiful to me.  Speaking of "love story", I want to tell you mine over the past four years and how the three parts that I see all intermingle. 

I think I have one of the most beautiful love stories ever written.  My beautiful love story also includes loss, healing and restoration.  I know that some people may not understand how a story can be beautiful when you lose a love one, but it can be.  Please don't misunderstand me, losing my husband was one of the most difficult things I have ever had to go through. One of the things that makes it beautiful to me is that God used my love for Jared to help Jared.  Not that God wouldn't have sustained him, but God knew that Jared desired a helper and a wife and to know that God gave him that desire in the likes of me is indescribable.  He knew that it was going to be difficult journey for Jared and I think I made it somewhat bearable for him in his last days.  What also makes it wonderful to me is that in the end God gave Jared complete healing.  It is beautiful now because Jared is in heaven and I got to see God work in amazing ways in my life through Jared and his death.  By the way, to this day, I can't sit through marriage vows without tearing up at the "sickness and health" line.  It still strikes me because I wonder if the couple really understands what they are vowing.  In this part of my story, I was able to love someone in a way that few people understand.    I could continue, but there are other parts to tell.
The second part of my love story was after Jared's death and healing of my heart.  It is the story of falling in love with my Savior more than I ever had before.  In my story, I knew that the only "person" who could offer anything to me was my Great Physician.  He was the one who understood my sorrow more than anyone.  I remember once when I was lying in bed, praying, when I was having a difficult time, and feeling how God came and comforted me.  It is a feeling that I will never forget.  There were a couple of verses that always spoke to me.  The Lord is my portion, says my soul,"For your Maker is your husband--the Lord Almighty is his name--the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth." Isaiah 54:5 and He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. Job 8:21.  Of course put Jeremiah 29:11 and Psalm 62:8 in there also.  I learned so much about the Lord because it was just Him and I for many, many months.  Not that other people didn't help, believe me, they did!  However, I felt the most comfort from the One who sustained me, held me in the palm of His hand, provided for me, and loved me like no one else ever can or will.  Again, it wasn't easy, but as is with any refining process, I can see how all the hurt and pain helped change me to be more like Him.
The third part of my story includes how God can restore a heart.  I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says "love as though you've never been hurt".  I think that is true.  Loving a man and then losing him did hurt, but that didn't cause me to want give up.  I wanted to love again, I knew what it meant to love in a way that few people understand.  I could have taken the "easy" road and guarded myself against ever falling in love again, knowing that the same thing could happen in a instant.  As the Bible says, life is but a vapor.  I chose not to do that.  I remember reading in 1 Timothy the verse about young widows marrying again, I took it to heart.  I knew that I didn't want to be without a mate for the rest of my life.  Some people may think that was a betrayal to Jared, but I know that he would have wanted me to be happy.  He would have wanted me to continue to live my life to the fullest, including marriage again.  However, he would have wanted to make certain that the someone I married was a follower of Christ and treated me like a princess.
When God put a man into my life, I was not looking for it at all.  In fact, I had just written in my blog about how content I was with my life.  I think God has a sense of humor.  The man He placed in my life amazed me.  Early on he told me that he had noticed me a few months before, but he waited and prayed before he asked me on a date.  He wanted to make sure that this was the direction God wanted him to go.  I realized that God had put this man into my life for a reason.  If not to marry him, to at least begin to heal my heart and help me to take steps forward in my life.  That is exactly what happened, my heart began to heal.  I didn't realize how broken it had been and I had to work through things in my heart and life as time went on.   Thankfully this man was very understanding and patient.  This man even made mention once that because of what I had been through, he could see how it molded me into the woman that I had become.  That's where it all intermingles.  Everything that God has been doing in my life over the past couple of years has been preparing me for the third part of my love story.  This part has been developing over this past year and from an insiders perspective it has been fun to watch and to be a part of.  You've all met Mr. E., the man whom God brought into my life.  He is an amazing man of God and I am blessed beyond what I could have ever imagined.  He balances me and helps me in every aspect of my life.  He challenges me to be a better woman of God and I love how he prays at a moments notice when something needs to be taken to Jesus' feet.  He protects me, treats me like a princess and he is my best friend.  He also loves me and if it is anywhere close to how much I love him, then I'm one loved woman!  Last Tuesday, this wonderful man asked me to be his wife, I accepted.  I get the wonderful privilege of becoming his wife and I can't describe how happy that makes me. Part three is just beginning, but I'm loving how the story has already unfolded. :)

All three parts of my love story have taught me different things and have molded me into the person I have become.  I know that God's work on me has not finished and there is more molding and refining to come, but I am grateful for every part and wouldn't change my life for anything.

Thursday, January 19, 2012


I have some very exciting news!  I'm off Facebook! :)  I finally deleted my account after months of debating on whether or not I should do it.  I never post anything and was irritated with the changes that Facebook made with their last update.  The only reason I kept it was to keep up with people, or so I thought.  I really don't do that, I just read what someone wants me to keep up with.  People only post what they want me to know and that is fine.  That's what I did too.  The final straw for me was seeing the drama that can unfold on Facebook.  I had to ask myself if it was worth it to have other people's lives affect mine and the answer was no.  I am now living in the freedom that deleting my Facebook gave to me.  I know, it may sound corny, but I'm enjoying it!

I am striving this year to be more disciplined, especially with working out, reading my Bible everyday, getting to work on time, going to bed at a decent hour, etc.  So far, for the most part, I've kept up.  I still haven't begun to work out everyday, but have been at least a couple of times a week.  The other things are going well and I like being more scheduled.  I believe that God wants us to be orderly.  He wants us to be disciplined in what we do.  I am usually a schedule orientated person, but in the past two years I've lived a very undisciplined life.  I think it was because my life seemed like it was in chaos so I let everything else follow that same pattern.  I'm trying to change that now and I'm liking the routine so much better.  Mind you, it doesn't always go as planned but it helps.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance (I would change this to God)
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey, who's to say you know I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes, my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

I've heard this song shuffle through my iTunes many times lately.  I'm sure this song means something other than my take on it.  Every time I hear it, I can't help but think of my life after Jared went to be with the Lord.  His sister told me right after he died that I shouldn't listen to this song and for quite awhile I couldn't.  Now that has changed.  I realize that every bit of pain that I went through was worth it.  I still don't understand the "whys" but not experiencing the pain would have meant that I also would have missed the dance.

P.S. Just to clarify, the line "Hey, who's to say you know I might have chanced it all" doesn't hold true for me, because I would do it all over again. 

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Odds and Ends

I hope you all had a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year's Eve.  I personally had a wonderful Christmas.  I'm very excited about the camo jacket that I received from Mr. E. :)  Rang in the New Year last night, but it was very low key, we just watched the ball drop from home.  So nice though.

Remember the snowfall that we were receiving during the last post? I think we got about 3 inches of snow which made for a white Christmas here in Midland.  Very strange considering that Wisconsin had no snow at all.  Speaking of Wisconsin, I was able to go up there this past week.  Stonegate staff was given one of the best Christmas presents, the week between Christmas and New Years Day off of work.  I didn't realize how much I needed to take a break and it felt so good!  So, because I did have the week off, I went to visit the family and had a great time.
Mr E. and I had planned to go hunting this weekend, but instead decided to stick around Midland and get some of those "to do" things off the list.  I was able to clean out some stuff in the garage, clean up branches in the backyard and the best thing was that Mr. E put in a new kitchen faucet for me.  He's so handy to have around.  I'm sure this isn't as exciting for some as it is for me! :)

2011 was a good year from me.  God provided for me in ways that I never expected, He took care of me and held me under His wing.  I can't imagine this life without Him and I am blessed to be His child.  I don't know what 2012 holds for me, but I must say I'm excited about it.  The one thing that I do know is that my God will supply all my needs and He will walk with me throughout the coming year, never leaving.  That alone gives me great peace about my future.  Happy New Year!