Friday, September 24, 2010


According to the online Webster's Dictionary the definition of the word sovereign is: "one that exercises supreme authority within a limited sphere." Just to clarify, God does not have a limited sphere, He controls everything in the universe. For as long as I can remember, I have been taught that God is sovereign. He is the supreme authority. I can still say that after what I have been through in my life. I even feel more strongly about God's sovereignty because of my "trials".

One of the things that I do when I think about doctrine.....yes, that word follow it through, taking an argument to the end. If God is not sovereign in everything, that would mean something or someone else "exercises supreme authority". So, if that is the case, we or something else, can take over for God. We could also say that something that we did or didn't do could affect what God's will is for our lives. That puts us in charge again. (See previous post)

I believe that God is sovereign. It is a little tricky when you think about it. Why are we here then, are we just robots, what can we do because God is going to do whatever He wants anyway? God knew what was going to happen in each of our lives from the beginning of time. Do you think that He is surprised by anything? No. He doesn't all the sudden go, "I didn't see that coming, I have to change my plans". No, He knows everything. We as humans do make decisions, but God knew what those decisions were before He created anything. He knows every thought that we have. Psalm 139:2 There are no surprises, He allows us make those decisions but really, He knew we were going to make them anyway, so His plan is still what ultimately happens. Like I said in the previous paragraph, if He isn't completely sovereign, the supreme authority, He wouldn't be God.

I can say with completely confidence that God is in charge of everything. He is directing my steps, Proverbs 20:24 A man's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand his own way? I don't understand the path He has me going down, but is there anyone else that I would want in charge of my life? Not in a million years.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I have so much going through my brain this past week that I don't know if I can put it all down in a concise way.

First of all, my life is going well. Last week was a little difficult, I had a headache to beat all headaches and I wasn't able to rest much at all. However, if I stop and think about what I have going on, I am really enjoying what I am doing and where God has me. I'm trying my best to run hard after Him and trust Him entirely, believe me, I don't think I am doing a very good job at it, but I'm trying! It makes life so much easier and how I wish that I could remember to do this always!

Ok, here goes!

Speaking of running after Him, this is where I am, I apologize if this doesn't make sense to anyone but me. There are so many things going through my head that if I don't write them down I may not be able sleep tonight!

Doctrine. I know some people do not like doctrine, they just want to believe what the Bible says and stick to that. I understand where they come from, but I am not one of those people. I pick things apart because that is my analytical nature. I find doctrine fascinating and have debated it on many occasions. Well, the subject of doctrine has come up again in my life, and I'm about to get on a soapbox. It is very difficult for me to sit back and listen to or read doctrine that I believe is not Biblical. I heard someone say last week, that God is just waiting for us to choose between good and evil. I was also reading a book that made the comment that God has given us a free will. Yeah, I don't agree at all. Yes, can we make choices, what to eat, what we do everyday, etc., but when it comes to salvation, nope. We are wicked, we would never choose good, there is nothing good in us. Romans 3:10-11 and Psalm 14:1-3. What bugs me the most about people telling me that we can choose God and that He is just waiting for us to come to Him, is that that means we can make decisions for God, that He doesn't necessarily have complete control. They put God in a box, making Him depend on us and our "decision". Great, that puts me in charge, which is not such a good idea. I am so glad that is not the case, it is a scary thought to think that I could be in charge and that my decisions will affect God and His will for my life. Romans 8:29-30 and Ephesians 1:11

Next thing. I have had the story of Lot come up in my life a couple of times in the past week or so. Lot and his family were told not to look back at Sodom and Gomorrah. Lot's wife decided that she would look back, and the Lord turned her into a pillar of salt. (I have often wonder why God chose that method of punishment.....) When I hear things a couple of times I have to ask myself what God is trying to show me. Sunday's sermon was also along the same lines. Pastor talked about pressing on, fixing our eyes on Jesus, using a passage that has become one of my favorites, Hebrews 12:1-2. I am notorious for looking backwards, lots of second guessing goes on in my brain. It is easier for me to look backwards than to look towards the future. The future is very unsettling for me because there may (ok, will) be change in it. I know in my heart that God is in control of my future, but I still sometimes have inward uneasiness when I think about possible changes. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does sometimes and today happens to be one of those times. I need to keep my eyes fixed on Him and forget the things that entangle me, including the scariness of looking at the future.

Well, there has been more, but I'm too tired to think about it. Part two sometime this week.....maybe.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Who am I?

I heard this song this morning and it fit well with what I was talking about yesterday.

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am yours..
I am yours..


I was reading in Isaiah 1 this morning and one verse stuck out, v. 3: An ox knows its owner, and a donkey its master's manger, but Israel does not know, My people do not understand.

I looked up a cross reference, Jeremiah 9:3, 6: "They bend their tongue like their bow; lies and not truth prevail in the land; for they proceed from evil to evil, and they do not know Me", declares the Lord.  "Your dwelling is in the midst of deceit; through deceit they refuse to know Me", declares the Lord. 

Also, Isaiah 44:18: They do not know, nor do they understand, for He has smeared over their eyes so that they cannot see and their hearts so that they cannot comprehend.

These verses were written about the children of Israel. God's chosen people.  That last verse is a bit scary.  He was the one that clouded their eyes and closed their hearts.  I was really convicted.  How well do I understand the Lord?  Am I really seeking to know Him more, or do I rest on what I already understand about Him.  I feel like I have grown leaps and bounds this past year, but have I really?   Who can really understand the mind of the Lord? 

I pray that I am constantly remembering to seek Your face, seeking Your will for my life, becoming more like the One who saved me.

Sunday, September 12, 2010


Thought I'd stop and say hi. 

I am doing well.  At least most of the time.  Had a bit of a pity party this weekend.  Nothing major and not emotional, just grumpy.  I sometimes think about what I had and where I thought my life was headed and then start to feel sorry for myself that I don't have it anymore.  I can be very grouchy.  I then am reminded that God has me where He wants me.  I sometimes feel inadequate to do some of the things that I think He is at least making me think about, if not calling me to do.  I wonder about the direction and path that He may be taking me down and where that will lead eventually.  Questions like Why are some opportunities coming up now, what is the reason, what is He preparing me for?  I sometimes want to just sit and say, no, I'm good where I am, but that is not something I can do when I know that my life is His.   Lately, I have felt very much like Moses, when he says "Who am I?" in Exodus 3.   Not so quick to be like Samuel and Isaiah who say, "Here am I, send me."  That's a scary thought sometimes. 

Well, that is a little about what has been going on in my little brain and where I'm at. 

Otherwise, life is good and He's got this!