Monday, January 31, 2011


I am in a good place right now, life is good.  It seems like most of the time I am running around like a crazy person, but lately life has been calm.  I'm not talking about my busyness, believe me, that still exists, I'm talking about the calmness of my soul.  The things I have been struggling with are still there, but God has been working on me.  I began the Beth Moore "Breaking Free" Bible study with some friends.  I had it in my mind that this study was for women who had horrid lives/pasts that they needed to break free from.  I have had a good life so I wasn't certain how much it would pertain to me.  Well, I've already been shown many things and we are only a couple of weeks into it. (This week is partly on pride, oops!) Last week's lesson was on the "benefits" of having Christ in our lives.   A couple of those things were the peace and joy that we can only find it Him, but the one that caught my attention was that only through Him can we have complete satisfaction.  A day or two after that lesson, I was listening to my iTunes and the song playing was One More Day by Diamond Rio. Part of that song is:

Last night I had a crazy dream
A wish was granted just for me
It could be for anything
I didn't ask for money
Or a mansion in Malibu
I simply wished, for one more day with you

One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe I'd be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you

So glad I can listen to some of my favorite songs without bursting into tears!  I digress......

I think one of the reasons that there is a calmness in my soul is I do feel satisfied in Christ.  Lately, I have felt like He has become everything to me.  So often I feel that if I could have that one more thing that I would then be satisfied.  That one more thing could be anything, but as the song says it would leave me wishing for more.  Realizing the satisfaction I can have in Him has made me so much happier.  I have found that all the other things like joy and peace fall right into place because I am satisfied. I am not striving for things that in the long run mean nothing.  I am content in Him, knowing that I want for nothing with Him as my Savior and Lord. 

As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness; I will be satisfied with Your likeness when I awake.  ~ Psalm 17:15

For He has satisfied the thirsty soul, and the hungry soul He has filled with what is good. ~ Psalm 107:9

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Matthew 8

I have started a couple of posts this past week, but none of them have been completed to actually publish.  Part of me wonders how long I will keep up this blog, it seems like I keep saying the same things over and over again.  I use this as my journal to remember later on where God had me.  Lately I have seemed stuck in learning about trust.  Actually, that seems to be the entire theme of this blog anyway.  I wonder when I will ever get it, or will I?

I am having to deal with this trusting issue again.  There are a couple of things going on in my life that have stopped me and made me think about if I really do trust God.  I want to fix, I want to make it all better, I want to control/manipulate a situation to fit what I want, because in my human mind, I know what is best for me.  Ha!  Really Beth, you think that you can handle things better than the God who created you in the first place!  It doesn't work that way.

I woke up this morning and grabbed my phone to read my devotional that gets emailed to me.  I also have the Bible download on my phone.  I went to the Bible application and the last passage that I had pulled up was Matthew 8.  I began to read, starting in Matthew 8:23-27:

Then He got into the boat and His disciples followed Him.  Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat.  But Jesus was sleeping.  The disciples went and woke Him saying, "Lord, save us!  We're going to drown!".  He replied, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?".  Then He got up and rebuked the winds and waves, and it was completely calm.  The men were amazed and asked, "What kind of man is this? Even the winds and waves obey Him!."

Another verse that I read this morning from my desk calendar was 1 John 4:18:

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

I make mistakes and sin all the time! I don't trust like I should, I have little faith.  The God who loves me has given me a way to not be fearful.  Perfect love casts out fear!  He calms the storms, His hand is all over this world and in my own life.  Why am I so afraid sometimes and forget to trust that He will work it out?  It is because I fail to remember that I serve a God that is beyond my comprehension.

Friday, January 7, 2011


Why is it that one day I can be in a good place, trusting God completely, go to bed, and wake up the next morning worrying about everything?  What changed when I slept?  It makes no sense.  Life is not easy and today is one of those days that I would like to be a hermit, and I may.  I could watch movies all day long!  Sounds like a good solution to me, but yet I know that that won't solve anything.  I know I must press on and trust but that is hard to do sometimes.  Anyway......

One of my co-workers went to Juarez, Mexico last week to do some preaching.  We were all a bit scared for him.  It is one of the most violent cities in the world, if not the worst.  Thankfully, he arrived back to Midland safely.  Yesterday, in our staff prayer time, he shared a little about Juarez and what he did when he was there.  He gave us some statistics.

98% of families have been affected by the violence in Juarez.  Only two percent of families have not had a family member murdered!

There have been 30,000 deaths in the past 5 years.

Over 200,000 people have left the city because of the violence.

He was able to preach in a parking lot and there were still about 1,000 people there.  Can you imagine?  I don't know if I could have been one of those people that attended.  He said he was scared in the beginning but then after a few minutes the God gave him peace.  He was able to talk to a few people and hear their stories.  He told of someone who was eating dinner with their family and someone came in and shot one of the men.  Another story was about some parents who dropped off their kids off at their grandparents house at 3pm, to go to the store and they never came back.  People stay off the streets after 6pm.

We have it so easy here in the United States.  I can't even begin to understand what they are going through there.  There isn't even safety in their own home!  There is no place to escape from the violence.  Talk about having to trust God completely!  That was a point that my co-worker made.  He said that right now these people have no where to turn and they are open to hearing the gospel.   I wish it didn't take these drastic measures to bring people to Christ, but it proves though that God's ways are not our ways, His thoughts are not our thoughts.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


I just finished an interesting book, Plan B by Pete Wilson.  The subtitle of the book is 'What do you do when God doesn't show up the way you thought He would?'.  Of course, God does show up, but it isn't always the way that we would like Him to.  One of the parts that I had to stop and think was when the author talked about Jesus dying on the cross.  He mentioned how devastating it must have been for Jesus' followers to have their "dreams" of finally having a Redeemer, shattered.  I remember what it felt like for me when all of my dreams of spending the rest of my life with Jared crumbled.  Could you have imagined what it was like for them to watch as the Savior of the world was crucified before their eyes?  I can't even fathom.  Honestly, I am so glad that I am on the other side.  I didn't have to watch that, I know the story, and I didn't have to live through the three days of Him being dead, wondering what just happened.  God had a plan and it was to have His Son die for us.  Not an easy plan, He had to turn away from His own Son because He could not look upon our sins that Jesus took on Himself.  But it was the perfect plan.  So it is with us.  We may not think what we are going through is good and it can be downright awful, just because it isn't easy.  In reality, it is the best, because it came from God.  God will do whatever He wants to us and in His timing, if it will make us more like Him.  Here was a quote from Mark Batterson that the author used in the book:

I tend to live the way I drive.  I want to get from point A to point B in the shortest amount of time and by the easiest route possible.  But I've come to realize that getting where God wants me to go isn't nearly as important as becoming who God wants me to be in the process.  And God seems to be far less concerned with where I'm going than with who I'm becoming.  

How true that is for me.