What to say?

I don't know if everyone who blogs has this dilemma, but lately I've really struggled with what to write about when I sit down to blog.  This blog initially began to help me think through things going on in my life after Jared went to heaven.  Then, as my emotions began to level out a bit, I began to write more about things that I was doing, what was happening in my life, while still writing about the different things that God was showing and teaching me in my life.  Now, I'm struggling with what to say.  Much of the reason stems from the fact that I have a wonderful husband with whom I can talk.  I don't necessary need an outlet, such as this blog, to help me sort through my thoughts, I have him.  I could still write about what God is showing and teaching me, but lately that has been the same thing......trusting Him. I know, I've written about that before, but I'm hard-headed.  Lord willing, one of these days I will take it to heart!  I could also write about all the happenings of the E family, but I know that isn't very exciting and I'm really not sure if I want to do that anyway because this is a public blog that anyone in the world can read.  So, in other words, I'm just not sure what direction I should go with this blog and maybe I don't need to change anything. Perhaps I just need to continue as I have, I just don't know.  Maybe my problems come from writer's block, although I don't really consider myself a writer.  Anyway, that's where I'm at right now, looking for some clarity. 

Failure

This past week, I accompanied Mr. E on a two day business trip.  When we leave on a trip I'm in charge of packing.  This time I didn't do the best job of it.  I didn't pack a jacket for Mr. E or pack him the right pants and I forgot toothpaste.  Goodness gracious!  I felt like such a failure as a wife.  I kept apologizing to him until he looked at me and told me to stop because it was no big deal.  I have such a wonderful, forgiving husband.

However, this scenario got me thinking and I asked myself this question.... Do I feel as badly when I sin against God as I did when I "failed" my husband.  I had to be honest, I don't think I do.  Yes, there is the initial prick of conscience and then confession of sin but do I really feel that badly?  I don't know that I think about how God feels when I sin.  I knew that forgetting Mr. E's jacket made him cold yesterday morning and he had to suffer because of my neglectfulness.  When I sin, do I think about the consequences, how God feels, how it grieves Him?  I'm good at confessing my sin and then think, "well, that's done, " and go on without thinking how much it grieves our Father in Heaven when we don't obey him.  Thankfully, when we do sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness, (1 John 1:9).  What am I going to take away from what I learned this week?  I know that God will forgive me of my sins but I also need to think twice about my sin, learn from what I have done and strive to be more like Christ. 

Getting somewhere

A lot more work goes into laying a cement foundation than I ever thought. First Mr. E had to pack down all the dirt, using a handy dandy machine.  He had tried to dig the footers before packing it down and it was just caving in.  After all the footers were dug, which were all done by hand by Mr. E, he put it all the re-bar for reinforcement.  He then drove spikes into the existing foundation to tie the new and the old together so the two buildings don't separate.  After all that preparation, the cement finally arrived yesterday.  We had some concrete guys come and do the actual finishing work.  We now have a cement slab and we can be begin to put the walls up.  Finally, it looks like we are getting somewhere.  I really shouldn't say "we", Mr. E has done the majority of the work with some help from people other than me.  I'm amazed at how well he did everything, considering this is all new to him.  The concrete guys even offered him a job, they'd never seen a more perfect job. That's my man!