3 years

I will forever remember this day from 2009.  I really don't know how to put into words what this day means to me.   I will say, this day is much improved from three years ago.

I let myself think back on that day this morning as I was driving home.  I haven't done that much.  It isn't that I want to think about it, I just don't feel like I need to dwell on that day.  Anyway.  I recall the huge emptiness that I felt.  I looked at the people who were around me that day and most everyone had a spouse with whom they could find comfort.  I remember selfishly thinking that that wasn't fair.  The one person who was supposed to be with me through all the tough times was in heaven.  I was now alone.

In today's lesson in my Jonah Bible study, the author asked us to record some details about a time when God inexplicable brought positive results out of negative beginnings.  Three years later, I can see so many positive results from what seemed like a negative beginning.  Don't get me wrong, three years ago, I was having a hard time seeing what good could come of Jared's death.  Being three years removed I can look back and see how God will take something "tragic" and use it for His good.  That's why it is hard to put into words what this day is like for me.  As hard as that day was, I've learned so much from it.  Jared was/is? a wonderful man, I learned many things from him, one being learning what it meant to praise God even through suffering.  I was blessed to have him in my life.

This year is different than the past two years.  This year, I have the great blessing of having Mr. E as my husband.  I'm not alone anymore.  Mr. E has changed what this day means for me, but sorry, I can't describe what all that means.  All I can say is that God has continued to bless me and I could never thank Him enough for what He has done for me and will continue to do in mine and Mr. E's lives together.