I did something this evening that I haven't done since the week or so after Jared died. I was on the computer searching for other people who have lost a spouse. I like to read other people's stories, it may be a comfort thing for me, knowing that I'm not the only one, but I don't know why I chose to do it tonight. I really didn't find too many blogs, but the ones that I did find ended up being kinda depressing. So many of them were written by people who didn't seem to have the hope of Christ in their life, that I am so grateful that I have. Some had spouses that passed away years ago, but you can tell by their posts that they are still having a difficult time. My heart just ached for them. I'm not saying that I won't ever be in their shoes, who knows, this journey is quite unpredictable. It made me stop and wonder, without God in my life, what would my story look like right now? Where would I be, would I be in major depression, would I even be functioning? I am so thankful that God saw fit to save me and be the Rock that I need to help me through this season of life.
I did come across a blog about someone who lost a baby. Reading her blog was so encouraging. The one song that she had playing in the background was "Bring the Rain" by MercyMe. The chorus to that song is:
Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to
praise You Jesus, bring the rain.
I second what this song says, bring the rain if that's what it takes to bring glory to God. I know that by saying that, I'm asking for it, but I know that the Lord is my Shepherd and He is always with me. My dad used a verse from Job during Jared's service, Job 2:10, "Shall we indeed accept good from God and not accept adversity?" If life was easy, we would never realize that the arms of God, that carry us through struggles, are so incredibly strong!