Still here

Wow, it's been about a week since I last blogged. I'm still here, just been really busy. I feel like I'm not home much anymore. At least I'm not bored!

Not much is new in my life. Did get another curve ball thrown at me, not a bad one, just another thing to think about. Spent this past weekend really trying to figure out my next step. Came to the conclusion that I can't figure it out, but don't worry, I will continue to try. God still continues to shake up my life, and I'm thinking that my life will never be the same. I mean that it will never be the same day to day and I don't expect to have a routine anytime soon. I'm beginning to try to accept that. Lord, do you remember that I hate change?! I guess if my life changes everyday then I won't get used to anything and it won't feel much like a change....yes, I'm talking myself into this.

I'm doing a Bible study on Esther with some co-workers. The part that we are working on this week is when Esther finds out from Mordecai that an edict went out that the Jews were going to be destroyed. Mordecai tells Esther that she needs to go to the king and she is afraid to do it because she could be put to death. Do ya blame her! Mordecai said to Esther in Esther 3:13-14:

"Do not imagine that you in the king's palace can escape any more than all the Jews. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty or such a time as this?"

There were two parts in those verses that stood out to me. If she kept silent, relief and deliverance would come from another place and the second phrase that perhaps she had been placed in the palace for such a time as this.

Thoughts on the first phrase: no matter what we do or don't do, God's will is going to be accomplished. That doesn't excuse me though. If I feel God wanting me to do something or leading me in a certain direction, I can't just sit there and say "He doesn't need me, He'll accomplish what He wants without me." That is not what He created me for. I'm created to bring Him glory not sit on my hands.

Thoughts on the second phrase: potter and clay. Why am I in the position I am in right now? What is He preparing me for? I guess I'm waiting for my "such a time as this". Will I allow Him to mold me the way He wants for that "time" when I need it most? Sometimes it is hard to wrap my head around where God has me right now.

Until next time....