Freedom!!

I have some very exciting news!  I'm off Facebook! :)  I finally deleted my account after months of debating on whether or not I should do it.  I never post anything and was irritated with the changes that Facebook made with their last update.  The only reason I kept it was to keep up with people, or so I thought.  I really don't do that, I just read what someone wants me to keep up with.  People only post what they want me to know and that is fine.  That's what I did too.  The final straw for me was seeing the drama that can unfold on Facebook.  I had to ask myself if it was worth it to have other people's lives affect mine and the answer was no.  I am now living in the freedom that deleting my Facebook gave to me.  I know, it may sound corny, but I'm enjoying it!

I am striving this year to be more disciplined, especially with working out, reading my Bible everyday, getting to work on time, going to bed at a decent hour, etc.  So far, for the most part, I've kept up.  I still haven't begun to work out everyday, but have been at least a couple of times a week.  The other things are going well and I like being more scheduled.  I believe that God wants us to be orderly.  He wants us to be disciplined in what we do.  I am usually a schedule orientated person, but in the past two years I've lived a very undisciplined life.  I think it was because my life seemed like it was in chaos so I let everything else follow that same pattern.  I'm trying to change that now and I'm liking the routine so much better.  Mind you, it doesn't always go as planned but it helps.

The Dance

Looking back on the memory of
The dance we shared 'neath the stars alone
For a moment all the world was right
How could I have known that you'd ever say goodbye

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance (I would change this to God)
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I a king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Hey, who's to say you know I might have chanced it all

And now I'm glad I didn't know
The way it all would end the way it all would go
Our lives are better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

Yes, my life is better left to chance
I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

I've heard this song shuffle through my iTunes many times lately.  I'm sure this song means something other than my take on it.  Every time I hear it, I can't help but think of my life after Jared went to be with the Lord.  His sister told me right after he died that I shouldn't listen to this song and for quite awhile I couldn't.  Now that has changed.  I realize that every bit of pain that I went through was worth it.  I still don't understand the "whys" but not experiencing the pain would have meant that I also would have missed the dance.

P.S. Just to clarify, the line "Hey, who's to say you know I might have chanced it all" doesn't hold true for me, because I would do it all over again. 

Odds and Ends

I hope you all had a great Christmas and a wonderful New Year's Eve.  I personally had a wonderful Christmas.  I'm very excited about the camo jacket that I received from Mr. E. :)  Rang in the New Year last night, but it was very low key, we just watched the ball drop from home.  So nice though.

Remember the snowfall that we were receiving during the last post? I think we got about 3 inches of snow which made for a white Christmas here in Midland.  Very strange considering that Wisconsin had no snow at all.  Speaking of Wisconsin, I was able to go up there this past week.  Stonegate staff was given one of the best Christmas presents, the week between Christmas and New Years Day off of work.  I didn't realize how much I needed to take a break and it felt so good!  So, because I did have the week off, I went to visit the family and had a great time.
 
Mr E. and I had planned to go hunting this weekend, but instead decided to stick around Midland and get some of those "to do" things off the list.  I was able to clean out some stuff in the garage, clean up branches in the backyard and the best thing was that Mr. E put in a new kitchen faucet for me.  He's so handy to have around.  I'm sure this isn't as exciting for some as it is for me! :)

2011 was a good year from me.  God provided for me in ways that I never expected, He took care of me and held me under His wing.  I can't imagine this life without Him and I am blessed to be His child.  I don't know what 2012 holds for me, but I must say I'm excited about it.  The one thing that I do know is that my God will supply all my needs and He will walk with me throughout the coming year, never leaving.  That alone gives me great peace about my future.  Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas

I am at church as I write this watching the snow fall like crazy here in Midland.  No, I'm not in church, I'm working at church.  We are having three Christmas Eve services and we are currently in the middle of the second one.  I get to attend the last one then head home.  You'd think that working on Christmas Eve would be a downer, but honestly, I'm happy to be here.  I know that for many people this may be the only time during the year that they darken the doorway of a church.  They may be with family or just think that they need to attend.  Either way, I'm glad they are here.  If my working today will enable someone to hear the real story of Christmas and perhaps have their life changed, I'm glad to do it. 

I hope that you all have a blessed Christmas and are able to take time to thank the Lord for sending His Son to this earth.

Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, for He has visited us and accomplished redemption for His people, and has raised up a horn of salvation for us.  Luke 1:68-69a

December So Far

There is less than 10 days until Christmas!  Can you believe it?  This year has gone by so quickly.  I was talking with someone about how slow the first year was after Jared went to heaven.  Not so the case now, time is just flying.  December has been busy, ok, when isn't my life busy?  I should just say that December has continued at the normal pace of the rest of my year.

I mentioned in a previous post that I was working on a stocking for my sis-in-law.  My grandma started this tradition back when I was little and each one of us has a homemade stocking of some sort, whether it be a needlepoint or quilted stocking made by her.  Grandma, I know you'll see this post and I hope you are glad that we are continuing this tradition.  

We got snow in Midland!  It is beautiful when it snows and we even got a day off because of it.  I couldn't justify staying home so I still went into work.

This next December highlight comes with a warning......if you do not like dead animals, this next picture is not for you.  





I got my first deer!!  I went hunting with Mr. E. and had fun.  We had some doe management tags so that's why I shot a doe.  One of these days I will hopefully get a buck, because I fully plan on hunting again! 

There are some December highlights for you, hope your December is going well and that you are able to slow down and enjoy the holidays.

Meet......

.......Mr. E.  Yep, that's right, I am dating a wonderful man.  I haven't know how to introduce him, or for that matter, when I should.  This blog began with a journey that I never thought I would be taking and you all have been there to read my ups and downs.  I came to the conclusion that I would be remiss not to let you in on one of the biggest "ups" that God has brought into my life.  I am one blessed girl and could not be happier! :)

Most wonderful time of the year?

To most people, the holidays are a time of fun and excitement.  Everyone tries to get together as a family and spend time together.  It is also one of the most difficult times of the year for some people.   Last year I was grateful for the trip to Europe that allowed for the Thanksgiving holiday to pass somewhat unnoticed.  Christmas was better last year than the first year, but it still was difficult.  It was hard to not be with my family, although my Texas family is a great substitute.  It is difficult when you miss someone at the holidays, I know.  My mom states it well, she calls it "calendar grief".  In dealing with grief, the every day reality is that someone is gone, but on special days/times of the year, that grief will manifest itself.  Because of the unpredictably of grief, it has been hard for me to have any excitement at all for the holidays.  I have had more of an attitude of, "let's get them over with".  I am so happy that this year, I'm actually looking forward to them. In our family, we pull out the Christmas music on November 1st.  We think that you need lots of time to listen to all the wonderful music!  I actually pulled it out on that day and was so excited to do that!  I bought Christmas tree decorations yesterday (half off at Hobby Lobby).  We'll see how decorating a tree goes, I haven't decorated one since before I was engaged, but I'm looking forward to it.  I'm curious to see how these holidays go, but I'm thinking that God has healed my heart enough that I can enjoy them! 

Other random things going on in my life.......

God has once again shown me His faithfulness and how He takes care of me.  I think I am finally finished with settling Jared's estate.  One last bill that was outstanding was finally taken care of a couple of weeks ago and now everything is done.  When I received that information, I began to cry.   I'm just going to tell y'all why and give God glory for this.  Jared did not much life insurance to speak of and most went to the funeral expenses.  There wasn't much money left to pay the outstanding medical bills, which totaled over $75,000.  Here's the amazing part, all of those bills have been written off by each medical facility.........yeah, has it sunk in yet?!  If you ever doubt that God isn't watching out for you, please remember this story.  He cares for the birds and He will also care for you.  My verse on my desk calendar today is "O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness."  Isaiah 25:1  Isn't that fitting! 

I've been dehydrating apples this year.  My garden pretty much failed this year, so I wasn't able to do any canning, so this is as close as I've been able to get to storing stuff for the winter.  Tried sweet potatoes, but I think they need to be sliced thinner, they were kinda chewy. 

Working on a needlepoint stocking for my sis-in-law.  I had no idea how time consuming needlepoint is.  I have enjoyed doing it though, I'm almost done but I need to get it done soon!!  Good thing my weekends have been free for the last month, this would have been simpler if I hadn't procrastinated. :)

That's pretty much what's been happening with me.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and focus on the blessings that God has brought into your life.  I know that's what I'll be doing, along with making rolls, pies, and chocolate covered pretzels!!