Looking back/Thankful

I little over a week ago I decided to read my blog from beginning to end.  I started with my first post and worked my way to the current one.  Rule #1: don't do that right before going to bed.  Rule #2: have Kleenex handy.  Rule #3: there isn't one, three rules just sounds better. :)

I couldn't help but notice how much difference a year makes.  Last year on November 2nd I wrote that it would have been six months since I married Jared.  This year, I didn't realize that mark until I read it in my blog and that was about a week after the fact.  I read all about last year's holidays/my sister's wedding. (This was the part where I needed to keep the Kleenex handy.)  It was a difficult part to read, but I thought about the upcoming holidays and the pit in my stomach isn't there like it was last year.  I am not dreading those "marked" days in November and December like I was last year. After reading it all, I realized how far I have come.  I can live life.  I can (I've been told this is risky to say) move on.  I have done life for over a year now.  I know I'm not completely healed (will I ever be?), nor will I ever forget Jared, but it was good to read the past, how far God has brought me and the things I have learned about Him.  I was reminded about how faithful God has been to me.  I shutter to think about where I would be without Him in this journey.  I am thankful that He has sustained me and that my faith in Him is even stronger than ever.   I understand more about His sovereignty in everything.  Whatever the LORD pleases, He does, in heaven and in earth, in the seas and in all deeps.  Psalm 135:6.  That verse doesn't say whatever pleases His people, it says whatever pleases Him. I am thankful that I've seen His hand work so vividly in my life.  I said that I wanted Jared's life and death to speak to people, I just wasn't expecting to be one of the ones that got a major talking to! :)  I am thankful that I can say that everything God says about Himself in Scripture is true.  He will never fail us!

This song was sung on Sunday and you should have seen the smile on my face as I sang it.  It is exactly what I was feeling yesterday.  The pain of the past year or so will be nothing compared to joy that we will have in glory!

Would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing, cause the pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming. So hold on, you got to wait for light, press on, and just fight the good fight, cause the pain that you've been feeling, it is just the dark before the morning.
~ Before the Morning, Josh Wilson

As far as life in general, it is good.  I have lots to do in the next week and a half before I go on my next vacation.  I've had a few more things pop up in my life this past week or two.  One that I think will be fine, we'll see, but I'm not worried about it.  The other one I am working through and I am just trying to remind myself that God knows the steps that I need to take and rest in that.  All is going pretty well in this girl's life, at least until the next change!