Today was a long day, complicated by lack of sleep this weekend. My sleeping patterns are a mess, I wish my sleep was more consistent. Can't be helped though, I have a hard time taking my problems and shoving them into a corner before I go to bed. I could leave them in God's hands but that would be too easy. :)
I did get to work with 1st grade girls this morning. I wasn't too keen on helping because of the long day I knew I had ahead of me, but I was glad I did. The girls were great, and I enjoyed seeing/helping the girls look up the Bible story in their Bibles. It was cool to see them taking turns reading the story and their eagerness to answer the questions. It made me smile.
Tomorrow marks 200 days. I haven't been counting, I have a counter on my computer that I happened to open up today. Time is flying by. Someone said once that there will come a time that you don't think about your loss every minute of every day. I didn't think that would ever happen. This weekend I realized that it does happen. I always picture the "widow" sign flashing above my head and that's how I am defined. What made me realize that I wasn't thinking about my loss every minute was me forgetting that I was a widow. I wonder how long that has been going on and I didn't realize it......but don't mistake that as forgetting Jared....not happening.
Showing posts with label Bible. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bible. Show all posts
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Still here
Wow, it's been about a week since I last blogged. I'm still here, just been really busy. I feel like I'm not home much anymore. At least I'm not bored!
Not much is new in my life. Did get another curve ball thrown at me, not a bad one, just another thing to think about. Spent this past weekend really trying to figure out my next step. Came to the conclusion that I can't figure it out, but don't worry, I will continue to try. God still continues to shake up my life, and I'm thinking that my life will never be the same. I mean that it will never be the same day to day and I don't expect to have a routine anytime soon. I'm beginning to try to accept that. Lord, do you remember that I hate change?! I guess if my life changes everyday then I won't get used to anything and it won't feel much like a change....yes, I'm talking myself into this.
I'm doing a Bible study on Esther with some co-workers. The part that we are working on this week is when Esther finds out from Mordecai that an edict went out that the Jews were going to be destroyed. Mordecai tells Esther that she needs to go to the king and she is afraid to do it because she could be put to death. Do ya blame her! Mordecai said to Esther in Esther 3:13-14:
"Do not imagine that you in the king's palace can escape any more than all the Jews. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty or such a time as this?"
There were two parts in those verses that stood out to me. If she kept silent, relief and deliverance would come from another place and the second phrase that perhaps she had been placed in the palace for such a time as this.
Thoughts on the first phrase: no matter what we do or don't do, God's will is going to be accomplished. That doesn't excuse me though. If I feel God wanting me to do something or leading me in a certain direction, I can't just sit there and say "He doesn't need me, He'll accomplish what He wants without me." That is not what He created me for. I'm created to bring Him glory not sit on my hands.
Thoughts on the second phrase: potter and clay. Why am I in the position I am in right now? What is He preparing me for? I guess I'm waiting for my "such a time as this". Will I allow Him to mold me the way He wants for that "time" when I need it most? Sometimes it is hard to wrap my head around where God has me right now.
Until next time....
Not much is new in my life. Did get another curve ball thrown at me, not a bad one, just another thing to think about. Spent this past weekend really trying to figure out my next step. Came to the conclusion that I can't figure it out, but don't worry, I will continue to try. God still continues to shake up my life, and I'm thinking that my life will never be the same. I mean that it will never be the same day to day and I don't expect to have a routine anytime soon. I'm beginning to try to accept that. Lord, do you remember that I hate change?! I guess if my life changes everyday then I won't get used to anything and it won't feel much like a change....yes, I'm talking myself into this.
I'm doing a Bible study on Esther with some co-workers. The part that we are working on this week is when Esther finds out from Mordecai that an edict went out that the Jews were going to be destroyed. Mordecai tells Esther that she needs to go to the king and she is afraid to do it because she could be put to death. Do ya blame her! Mordecai said to Esther in Esther 3:13-14:
"Do not imagine that you in the king's palace can escape any more than all the Jews. For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty or such a time as this?"
There were two parts in those verses that stood out to me. If she kept silent, relief and deliverance would come from another place and the second phrase that perhaps she had been placed in the palace for such a time as this.
Thoughts on the first phrase: no matter what we do or don't do, God's will is going to be accomplished. That doesn't excuse me though. If I feel God wanting me to do something or leading me in a certain direction, I can't just sit there and say "He doesn't need me, He'll accomplish what He wants without me." That is not what He created me for. I'm created to bring Him glory not sit on my hands.
Thoughts on the second phrase: potter and clay. Why am I in the position I am in right now? What is He preparing me for? I guess I'm waiting for my "such a time as this". Will I allow Him to mold me the way He wants for that "time" when I need it most? Sometimes it is hard to wrap my head around where God has me right now.
Until next time....
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Great is His faithfulness
I will admit, I've had a bad attitude this week. (So much for the previous post!) My Bible study focused this week on how we should see the good in every season of our life. It talked about the relationship between our heart/mind and words/deeds. We may not be able to control our circumstances, but can control our attitude during the circumstances. This week, I didn't like that focus. I avoided doing the lesson until late last night. I am certain that didn't get what I should have out of it. The actual class for the study was this morning and I've been thinking about it since. I do need to change my attitude.
You know how difficult it is to listen to someone that complains all the time? You want to avoid them because you know the conversation will be all about them and how bad their life is, they are depressing people! (I'm sure that I've been one of those people lately!) It made me think about the relationship between us and God. I know that God doesn't avoid/ignore us when we complain to Him, but don't you think that He sometimes sits there, waiting for us to stop being so negative?! There are so many verses that tell us to rejoice when various trials come or ones that tell us how He helps us through our pain. We have the greatest Strength to go to when we have problems, yet our first instinct is to complain. I know when I trust God fully, I see His work in my life much more clearly. Why is that so hard to grasp sometimes?!
Anyway, as I sat at my desk I was listening to a CD of hymns and "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" was playing. It was an instant reminder that God is faithful and never changes, even when I am complaining. The words:
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8
You know how difficult it is to listen to someone that complains all the time? You want to avoid them because you know the conversation will be all about them and how bad their life is, they are depressing people! (I'm sure that I've been one of those people lately!) It made me think about the relationship between us and God. I know that God doesn't avoid/ignore us when we complain to Him, but don't you think that He sometimes sits there, waiting for us to stop being so negative?! There are so many verses that tell us to rejoice when various trials come or ones that tell us how He helps us through our pain. We have the greatest Strength to go to when we have problems, yet our first instinct is to complain. I know when I trust God fully, I see His work in my life much more clearly. Why is that so hard to grasp sometimes?!
Anyway, as I sat at my desk I was listening to a CD of hymns and "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" was playing. It was an instant reminder that God is faithful and never changes, even when I am complaining. The words:
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:8
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Circumstances
I'm spending the evening working through my Bible study lesson for tomorrow. We've spent the last few weeks looking at individuals in the Bible who have gone through various trials, David, Ruth, Joseph and how they responded to their circumstances. I grew up in a Christian home, knowing all of these Biblical characters and their stories. I've always thought, well of course they had trials, they are characters in the Bible! Taking a closer look at them has made me realized that they were just regular people like you and me and their struggles, sins, joys, etc. are no different then ours. What makes them different is the response that they had. Look at David, running away from a King who wanted to kill him, still saying that God would take care of him. Joseph, being sold by his brothers into a foreign land, accused of something he didn't commit, and spending years in jail. He didn't become embittered, he still gave God credit for everything.
I'm reading through Philippians tonight. Paul wrote this book while in prison and throughout the book is encouraging these saints to be more like Christ, having His attitude. Phil 2:5. Paul still rejoiced even in his circumstances because he knew that his life was not about him, but about Christ. Phil. 1:12 My circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel.
One thing I am learning, it really doesn't do any good to complain about the situation that I am in. Don't get me wrong, I can still complain quite well, but really, it won't solve anything. Instead I should, Do everything without grumbling or complaining, that I may prove myself to be blameless and innocent, a child of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom I appear as a light in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may have cause to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain. Phil 2:14-16. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we don't see the big picture, only God does. I want to be the one that God can use as an example to others, a light to the world. I just hope that my response to the trials and circumstances that I go through are like the Davids, Josephs, Ruths, and Pauls of the Bible.
I'm doing ok this week. Kinda an up and down week so far. Tired, I don't always sleep the greatest, but sleep is overrated, right!? God is faithful to supply all my needs. I'm still amazed at the people that contact me with encouraging thoughts and prayers, and the people that still listen to me when I'm going through the bad moments. Thanks everyone!
Better get back to my lesson.
I'm reading through Philippians tonight. Paul wrote this book while in prison and throughout the book is encouraging these saints to be more like Christ, having His attitude. Phil 2:5. Paul still rejoiced even in his circumstances because he knew that his life was not about him, but about Christ. Phil. 1:12 My circumstances have turned out for the greater progress of the gospel.
One thing I am learning, it really doesn't do any good to complain about the situation that I am in. Don't get me wrong, I can still complain quite well, but really, it won't solve anything. Instead I should, Do everything without grumbling or complaining, that I may prove myself to be blameless and innocent, a child of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom I appear as a light in the world, holding fast the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may have cause to glory because I did not run in vain nor toil in vain. Phil 2:14-16. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we don't see the big picture, only God does. I want to be the one that God can use as an example to others, a light to the world. I just hope that my response to the trials and circumstances that I go through are like the Davids, Josephs, Ruths, and Pauls of the Bible.
I'm doing ok this week. Kinda an up and down week so far. Tired, I don't always sleep the greatest, but sleep is overrated, right!? God is faithful to supply all my needs. I'm still amazed at the people that contact me with encouraging thoughts and prayers, and the people that still listen to me when I'm going through the bad moments. Thanks everyone!
Better get back to my lesson.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)