What to say?

I don't know if everyone who blogs has this dilemma, but lately I've really struggled with what to write about when I sit down to blog.  This blog initially began to help me think through things going on in my life after Jared went to heaven.  Then, as my emotions began to level out a bit, I began to write more about things that I was doing, what was happening in my life, while still writing about the different things that God was showing and teaching me in my life.  Now, I'm struggling with what to say.  Much of the reason stems from the fact that I have a wonderful husband with whom I can talk.  I don't necessary need an outlet, such as this blog, to help me sort through my thoughts, I have him.  I could still write about what God is showing and teaching me, but lately that has been the same thing......trusting Him. I know, I've written about that before, but I'm hard-headed.  Lord willing, one of these days I will take it to heart!  I could also write about all the happenings of the E family, but I know that isn't very exciting and I'm really not sure if I want to do that anyway because this is a public blog that anyone in the world can read.  So, in other words, I'm just not sure what direction I should go with this blog and maybe I don't need to change anything. Perhaps I just need to continue as I have, I just don't know.  Maybe my problems come from writer's block, although I don't really consider myself a writer.  Anyway, that's where I'm at right now, looking for some clarity. 

Failure

This past week, I accompanied Mr. E on a two day business trip.  When we leave on a trip I'm in charge of packing.  This time I didn't do the best job of it.  I didn't pack a jacket for Mr. E or pack him the right pants and I forgot toothpaste.  Goodness gracious!  I felt like such a failure as a wife.  I kept apologizing to him until he looked at me and told me to stop because it was no big deal.  I have such a wonderful, forgiving husband.

However, this scenario got me thinking and I asked myself this question.... Do I feel as badly when I sin against God as I did when I "failed" my husband.  I had to be honest, I don't think I do.  Yes, there is the initial prick of conscience and then confession of sin but do I really feel that badly?  I don't know that I think about how God feels when I sin.  I knew that forgetting Mr. E's jacket made him cold yesterday morning and he had to suffer because of my neglectfulness.  When I sin, do I think about the consequences, how God feels, how it grieves Him?  I'm good at confessing my sin and then think, "well, that's done, " and go on without thinking how much it grieves our Father in Heaven when we don't obey him.  Thankfully, when we do sin, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness, (1 John 1:9).  What am I going to take away from what I learned this week?  I know that God will forgive me of my sins but I also need to think twice about my sin, learn from what I have done and strive to be more like Christ. 

Getting somewhere

A lot more work goes into laying a cement foundation than I ever thought. First Mr. E had to pack down all the dirt, using a handy dandy machine.  He had tried to dig the footers before packing it down and it was just caving in.  After all the footers were dug, which were all done by hand by Mr. E, he put it all the re-bar for reinforcement.  He then drove spikes into the existing foundation to tie the new and the old together so the two buildings don't separate.  After all that preparation, the cement finally arrived yesterday.  We had some concrete guys come and do the actual finishing work.  We now have a cement slab and we can be begin to put the walls up.  Finally, it looks like we are getting somewhere.  I really shouldn't say "we", Mr. E has done the majority of the work with some help from people other than me.  I'm amazed at how well he did everything, considering this is all new to him.  The concrete guys even offered him a job, they'd never seen a more perfect job. That's my man!

1st Anniversary

Yesterday, was our first anniversary!  I personally think that is a great milestone.  Not that I didn't think we could make it, I knew we could, it's just that I didn't come close to a first anniversary with my first marriage and it makes me appreciate this one so much more.

We left town for the weekend and enjoyed a relaxing time in the hill country of Texas.  It was perfect.

Our "cabin"

These deer were about 10-15 yards away.

Peeking over the ledge

My handsome man.

Guadalupe River

Relaxing

I was there too!

I am so blessed to have married this man.  God brought him into my life and I couldn't be happier.  I'm looking forward to many more anniversaries with him!

Addition

In my last post I told you about how we had our plan, but God had His.  The plan that was changed was about making some more room for us.  When we purchased our one bedroom home back in November, we knew we would either eventually add on to the house or build another house on the acreage that we bought along with the house.  To create some more room for our stuff, our plan for the time being was to build a shed to put all our tools and yard equipment in and finish out the existing shed for other stuff that we would like to move out there from the house.  We've talked about it since purchasing the home and about two weeks ago we decided to proceed with that plan.  That's when we learned that God wasn't letting that happen like we wanted.  We ran into different issues and it was extremely vexing.  We then began to think about what it would look like to actually add a room onto the house.  We called the man (the former owner) who originally built our house and he thought it would be fairly easy and agreed to help us.  That solved one of our problems!  We also figured that we would add value to the house by adding a second bedroom and we would eventually recoup our initial cost.  This plan seems to be the direction that God wanted us to go in the first place because things are beginning to proceed.  The guys spent a couple of hours last night building forms for the foundation, there is still lots of work to be done before the concrete arrives, but at least it is a start!

I'll probably add more pictures as things continue, to document the progress of the construction.  This is a big undertaking, but as with most things, we think it will be worth it.

Randomness time.  Here are a couple of quotes that I heard last week that made me stop and think.  They are both by my favorite author, Elisabeth Elliot. 

Whatever happens is assigned, my assignment entails my willing acceptance of my portion.

The secret is Christ in me, not me in a different set of circumstances.

Have a good week!

Plans

Mr. E and I have been talking a lot about our plans for our future.  At the end of last year, literally on December 31st, we wrote down what we thought this next year would bring and what we wanted to accomplish.  However, it seems as if whenever I try to plan something, inevitably, those plans will change.  That has been a recurring theme in my life for the past five years.  Sometimes those changes are seem good and sometimes they don't seem good.  Sometimes those changes create a domino effect and alter other things in your life.  I think God puts a stop to plans that He knows won't be beneficial to us.  That was the case this weekend.  Mr. E had been planning on doing some projects at our home and it just wasn't working out way that we thought it should have.  After we both got frustrated, we sat back and did some re-thinking and praying and we kinda felt like God wanted us to perhaps go a different direction.  We still aren't sure if our conclusion is the plan that we need to go ahead with, but having to stop what our plans were, started me thinking.  I thought of the verse, Proverbs 16:9, The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.

We can plan all we want to, but because the Lord directs our steps, those plans can or will change.  Instead of getting frustrated, like I did this weekend, I need to realize that God knows what is best for us.  He knows the way that will direct us in the way that He wants for us, not the way that I think is best for us.  A concept that I find very difficult to grasp.

Verses

Today I have spent the entire morning in God's Word.  Should I be doing laundry and cleaning the house? You bet! However, I think my morning was still profitable without getting the daily chores done.  I have plenty of time this afternoon.

Here are a few verses that stood out to me while I was doing some reading:

Psalm 28:7  The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him and I am helped; therefore my heart exults and with my song I shall thank Him.

Isaiah 58:11 The Lord will continually guide you and satisfy your desire in scorched places and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is in your midst, a victorious warrior.  He will exult over you with joy. He will be quiet in His love, He will rejoice over you with shouts of joy.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives, do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

Deuteronomy 7:9 Know therefore that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God, who keeps His covenant and His lovingkindness to a thousandth generation with those who love Him and keep His commandments.

I had to narrow down a bunch of verses and write just a few down.  In these few verses, you can see so much of God's character.  In these verses He is:

faithful
loving
kind
trustworthy
our strength
our shield
our guide
our warrior
our peace
our God

What else does a girl need?

The Es are doing well.  We have begun working on the garden again.  Mr. E has tilled it all and prepped it with fertilizer and compost, ready for the seedlings that we have growing in our house.  Now we just need to wait for the weather to warm up a bit so we can plant them.

Later this week, I turn another year older.  How quickly this past year went!  It will be interesting to see what God has planned this next year for me, you know there is never a dull moment in my (our) life!