Most wonderful time of the year?

To most people, the holidays are a time of fun and excitement.  Everyone tries to get together as a family and spend time together.  It is also one of the most difficult times of the year for some people.   Last year I was grateful for the trip to Europe that allowed for the Thanksgiving holiday to pass somewhat unnoticed.  Christmas was better last year than the first year, but it still was difficult.  It was hard to not be with my family, although my Texas family is a great substitute.  It is difficult when you miss someone at the holidays, I know.  My mom states it well, she calls it "calendar grief".  In dealing with grief, the every day reality is that someone is gone, but on special days/times of the year, that grief will manifest itself.  Because of the unpredictably of grief, it has been hard for me to have any excitement at all for the holidays.  I have had more of an attitude of, "let's get them over with".  I am so happy that this year, I'm actually looking forward to them. In our family, we pull out the Christmas music on November 1st.  We think that you need lots of time to listen to all the wonderful music!  I actually pulled it out on that day and was so excited to do that!  I bought Christmas tree decorations yesterday (half off at Hobby Lobby).  We'll see how decorating a tree goes, I haven't decorated one since before I was engaged, but I'm looking forward to it.  I'm curious to see how these holidays go, but I'm thinking that God has healed my heart enough that I can enjoy them! 

Other random things going on in my life.......

God has once again shown me His faithfulness and how He takes care of me.  I think I am finally finished with settling Jared's estate.  One last bill that was outstanding was finally taken care of a couple of weeks ago and now everything is done.  When I received that information, I began to cry.   I'm just going to tell y'all why and give God glory for this.  Jared did not much life insurance to speak of and most went to the funeral expenses.  There wasn't much money left to pay the outstanding medical bills, which totaled over $75,000.  Here's the amazing part, all of those bills have been written off by each medical facility.........yeah, has it sunk in yet?!  If you ever doubt that God isn't watching out for you, please remember this story.  He cares for the birds and He will also care for you.  My verse on my desk calendar today is "O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness."  Isaiah 25:1  Isn't that fitting! 

I've been dehydrating apples this year.  My garden pretty much failed this year, so I wasn't able to do any canning, so this is as close as I've been able to get to storing stuff for the winter.  Tried sweet potatoes, but I think they need to be sliced thinner, they were kinda chewy. 

Working on a needlepoint stocking for my sis-in-law.  I had no idea how time consuming needlepoint is.  I have enjoyed doing it though, I'm almost done but I need to get it done soon!!  Good thing my weekends have been free for the last month, this would have been simpler if I hadn't procrastinated. :)

That's pretty much what's been happening with me.  I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and focus on the blessings that God has brought into your life.  I know that's what I'll be doing, along with making rolls, pies, and chocolate covered pretzels!! 

God Speaking to Me

I had an interesting weekend.  I was given the opportunity to serve at another conference that we had here at Stonegate.  The conference was for parents who have a child struggling with homesexuality.  I really enjoy helping out with this ministry, I feel like I'm the one being encouraged either through the speakers or the people themselves, not the other way around.  I was able to talk with one lady who lost her husband to a sudden heart attack ten years ago and is now dealing with her only child struggling with this issue.  She was such a nice lady who I could tell truly believed in God's sovereignty. She understood that He has a plan that she doesn't understand but knows that she can rely on Him completely.  She was a blessing to me.  On Sunday, we had the pleasure of hearing a testimony by a couple and their son during the services at church.  It was amazing.  I was crying halfway through it when the mom mentioned that one of the hymns that helped her through one of the tough times was "It is Well with My Soul".  That was a song that went through my head after Jared passed away.  Then the son mentioned that at one point in his journey the verse Jeremiah 29:11 was shown to him.  That verse was one of Jared's favorite and one that I continue to be reminded of in my own life.  It was like God was speaking to me directly.  The tears I cried weren't sad tears, they were tears of joy, knowing that He will always be faithful to me and also to all of His children.  I am so blessed.

The Yuan's testimony can be seen at the following link:
http://vimeo.com/31106972

Retreat

Have I mentioned recently that I love my life?  If not, I do, and now you know.  This past weekend, I had the opportunity to accompany 32 sixth graders on a weekend retreat.  It was a beautiful place, filled with lots of activities for the kids.  They did team building exercise such as an underground maze that work through together and a ropes course that they had to think through on how to get everyone across.  I did the ropes course, got through it the first time and promptly fell off when it was completed.  It wasn't a very graceful fall either and I have a big bruise to show for it.  What can I say,  at least I completed it.  We did other activities such as swimming (water was way too cold for me), rock climbing and rappelling. I was unable to do either the rock climbing or the rappelling as there was a storm coming in and we wanted all the kids to have an opportunity to do the activity before the leaders did.  We finished in the nick of time too, the lightning started about the time the last couple of kids were finishing up.  Perfect timing.  What I was really disappointed about was the zipline.  We were supposed to do it at about 10pm, but the rain prevented that.  Oh well, it sounds like we will do it again so I may get another chance!

Here are some pictures of the actual camp:

Some of the water activities

Suspension bridge that we had to cross to get to our cabins.

More water fun.

I've been going through a Bible study called "Live a Praying Life" by Jennifer Kennedy Dean.  Not sure if I completely agree with everything in the book, although I may just not understand where she is coming from. For the most part, it has been good.  The study has made me stop and think about why we pray.  I've just always have done it, but the question I've always had is why pray when God is going to do His plan anyway.  One of the things that I've learned is that God wants to use us in order to give Him glory.  He doesn't need us, but He chooses us and incorporates us in His plan, and that includes praying.  I think praying also helps us to understand Him more and helps us to realize that we don't see the bigger picture.  It helps align our thinking with His thinking and changes our hearts to accept His will for our lives.  I may be off base, but that is what I am working through at the moment.

I hope you all are well and although the year is quickly coming to an end you are able to relax and enjoy the fall season!

A Dilemma

One of the many dilemmas that I have had in my "widow experience" is what to do with my engagement ring.  I've debated many different options over the course of these past few months.  There was no reason for a quick decision, for that matter I really didn't have to make a decision about it at all.  It could have stayed the way it was for many years to come, but for me, I wanted to do something with it.  Last month, I knew that I was finally ready to do something, so I did.  I had it sent to a jewelry store that I know every well and told them that I wanted it made into a necklace.  With little direction from me, they did.  I received it today and it was perfect, just what I wanted.  I have a new piece of jewelry now, it is a change from what it once was, but something I will keep as a reminder.  When I wear it, I want to be reminded God's faithfulness in my life and how He has brought and will bring me through all the changes in my life.  One more dilemma in my life is now solved.

My plan - His direction

The way this week has played out was not the way I had planned it in my head.  My boss is out of town, I thought that this would be the perfect week to get caught up on things that I've had to push off.  That didn't happen, God has had other plans.  It reminded me of the verse "The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9. 

This past Saturday I was able to attend a Beth Moore conference in Lubbock, TX.  I decided one hour before my friends were leaving to go with them.  I just felt that God wanted me to go, personally I had wanted to stay in Midland.  You should have seen me running around getting ready, plus having to pick up a ticket across town!  It was worth it.  God has been working in my life about something and Beth talked about that very same thing in the afternoon session.  I grudgingly listened. :)   She usually has her worship team sing the song "In Christ Alone" and once again I cried (I always do now). The last verse gets me every time because it means so much more to me after Jared went home to be with the Lord. 

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From a life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from His hand 
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand  

It is such an encouraging final verse.  From the day one is born until their final breath, God has a purpose for His children and nothing can change that.  It is through His power alone that His purpose is made complete.  I remember my dad telling me on the phone, the night that Jared died,  how God's purpose for Jared was complete and that is why He called him home.  Anyway, that is what I am reminded of when I hear this song.  That was a rabbit trail........

On Monday and Tuesday I had the opportunity to accompany a former Harlem Globetrotter and a former NFL player to some elementary schools here in Midland.  They are both Christians and although they weren't able to talk about God to the kids, they gave very good talks about breaking the cycle and that they can succeed in life.  It was a blessing to go with them but it was difficult also.  You could just see on some of the kids faces the lack of love and stability in their home lives.  It was hard to see.  There was one school that we went to where the kids mobbed the guys after they were done speaking.  They just wanted to be loved on even more by these men.  It made me appreciate the life that God has given me and the childhood that I had, being raised by wonderful parents.  I couldn't have asked for better parents who raised me well and taught me about Christ's love for me.  I wish you could talk about God in schools, these kids need to know about the hope that only Christ can give them.

We've had rain in Midland!!!!  It began last night and has been fairly continuous today.  We are in such a drought that any moisture that God gives us is a blessing!  I'm enjoying the cloudy, dreary day.  The temperature has dropped also significantly, it is currently 59 degrees, it was about 90 yesterday. 

That is my week in a nutshell.  Thanks for listening!

August

It seems like I post about once a month, so here is my August post!

More traveling went on again this month.  I was able to enjoy some more Texas beauty and I hope you enjoy these pictures:

Can you see the double rainbow?  The vivid one was a full rainbow that stretched over the road.  It looked as if you were driving through a tunnel.  It was beautiful!

West Texas sky.

Palo Duro Canyon, near Amarillo, Texas

More Palo Duro Canyon

Even more Palo Duro Canyon

This canyon was amazing.  You are driving along what looks like flat land for miles, when all the sudden you are driving down into this canyon.  It was beautiful, the pictures do not do it justice.  Who knew that Texas was so diverse in their landscape? This canyon is supposed to be the second largest in the United States, behind the Grand Canyon.  I can't wait to go back when I can spend more time there.

 My mom's new quilt book came out this month!  I got my copy in the mail and it is a wonderful book.  My mom is so talented, I love her!  If you want to check it out you can see it on her website, http://www.thefarmerswifequilt.com.  The reason why I am even mentioning it is because of the dedication that she wrote in the book.  The dedication brought me to tears, even with knowing beforehand what it was going to say.  I am still amazed how many lives Jared touched and although my family only met him a few times, how much they loved him.

My mom is right, we rejoice that we will see Jared again, in heaven, our final home.  I can't wait for heaven when I get to see my Savior!!

Although I can't wait, I am enjoying my life now, here on earth.  My job is going well, we are extremely busy, but that's ok.  Midland is booming economically and with that brings lots of new jobs.  People are moving here from all over the country for those jobs. For us at church, that means more kids on Sundays!  For the past two Sundays we have had over 1,000 kids attend.  It is overwhelming to know that God has entrusted us to minister to this many kids.  It is exciting, yet daunting sometimes. 

Everything else is going well, but I can't believe how fast this year has gone.  God has really been working in my life and although it is hard sometimes, I am extremely blessed.  I wouldn't trade my life for anything!

Until next month......

July

This month went by quickly! It has been a great month. 

It began with the 4th of July.  We had a great time at my Texas Parent's house.  Here is a picture of the fabulous food. 

The next happening was Six Flags.  I had never been there before.  I had ridden on a couple of roller coasters, but nothing like this!  I had a blast.  Batman had to have been my favorite ride, followed by Superman, the ride that I almost refused to go on.  Actually, I did refuse to go on it, but was forced to anyway.  Ok, I may have relented a bit. 

Next. I'm sure that some of you were wondering how I did on the second anniversary of Jared's passing.  I will admit there was a moment where tears came to my eyes.  It was mostly because I let myself go back to that day and remember.  That is something that I don't do often, I try not to live in the past.  Instead, I prefer to focus my "normal" thoughts of Jared on the good times we had, not the hospital and the following days.  All in all it was a good day, spending it with friends and family.  God gave me a peace about it that surpasses all understanding!

I was able to spend this past weekend traveling in the state of Texas.  I went to the panhandle and it is so beautiful.  This was one of my favorite trips this summer.  Here are some pictures from that adventure.

The adventures are not finished for the month. I'm off to a retreat this weekend in another part of Texas.  I'm enjoying the travels but I am ready to be home on a weekend!

Hope y'all are having a good summer!

P.S. We've gotten a couple of cherry tomatoes from the garden, but I think the plus 100+ temperatures we've had all summer is doing a number on most of the plants.  We may not get too much out of it, but it was fun doing it.