July

This month went by quickly! It has been a great month. 

It began with the 4th of July.  We had a great time at my Texas Parent's house.  Here is a picture of the fabulous food. 

The next happening was Six Flags.  I had never been there before.  I had ridden on a couple of roller coasters, but nothing like this!  I had a blast.  Batman had to have been my favorite ride, followed by Superman, the ride that I almost refused to go on.  Actually, I did refuse to go on it, but was forced to anyway.  Ok, I may have relented a bit. 

Next. I'm sure that some of you were wondering how I did on the second anniversary of Jared's passing.  I will admit there was a moment where tears came to my eyes.  It was mostly because I let myself go back to that day and remember.  That is something that I don't do often, I try not to live in the past.  Instead, I prefer to focus my "normal" thoughts of Jared on the good times we had, not the hospital and the following days.  All in all it was a good day, spending it with friends and family.  God gave me a peace about it that surpasses all understanding!

I was able to spend this past weekend traveling in the state of Texas.  I went to the panhandle and it is so beautiful.  This was one of my favorite trips this summer.  Here are some pictures from that adventure.

The adventures are not finished for the month. I'm off to a retreat this weekend in another part of Texas.  I'm enjoying the travels but I am ready to be home on a weekend!

Hope y'all are having a good summer!

P.S. We've gotten a couple of cherry tomatoes from the garden, but I think the plus 100+ temperatures we've had all summer is doing a number on most of the plants.  We may not get too much out of it, but it was fun doing it.

Camp and other thoughts

I'm such a slacker, a whole month with nothing written from little 'ole me.  It is probably because I've packed a lot into this past month.

Camp was the highlight of June.  Our church took about 180, 5th/6th graders to camp.  It was a good week.  It was so fun to see these kids in worship, singing at the top of their lungs and then watching them listening intently to some great speakers.  We had kids come to know the Lord personally and some other kids just enjoy having a week to focus on their Savior.  Don't get me wrong, we didn't spend every moment learning about God, we had lots of outdoor fun too.  Zipline, hiking, rock wall, swimming, canoeing, fishing are some of the activities that kept them busy.  There were lots of tired campers on the bus ride back home! We returned home on Friday and by Sunday  (after I gotten some sleep) I was ready to go back!  Can't wait until next year.

I realized last week that this year is half over.  Yikes, Christmas will be here before we know it!  I am in awe of how God is blessing my life and continues to take care of me.  Recently someone asked me to share my grief journey and how I was doing now.  I'm not done writing it, but as I began, I couldn't help but remember where I was almost two years ago compared to where I am now.  God is truly a great Savior, Healer, Sustainer, Provider, and Lover.  Everything I need. I've realized in the past years that if you strive for happiness in anything but God, you will continue to do just that, strive, never achieving true happiness and contentment.  The things of this world will fade, only God is eternal.  That is my mini sermon for the day.

Other than hanging out with friends and family and other random things going on my life, it is pretty much status quo.  Looking forward to July and the fun in store for that month.  My social calendar is already filling up!

Blessings

On Mother's Day, the following song, Blessings by Laura Story, was sung during the offertory at church.  I heard it during the first service and then went into each of the other services so I could hear it again and again.  The last chorus when she sang, "What if my greatest disappointments, or the aching of this life, is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy" summed up much of what I think about the last four years of my life.  If the last four years of my life had never happened, I don't think I would have the mindset I have now, knowing that God is the only One who can satisfy.  Enjoy the lyrics and I have provided a link if you want to hear it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1CSVqHcdhXQ

Verse 1:
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

Chorus:
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

Verse 2:
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

Bridge:
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

Chorus:
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

May So Far

This month is already half over, it seems like it just started. I think time is going so much faster this year.

The month began with a significant date in my life. It would have been my second wedding anniversary on May 2. I will be honest, it was a little rough, at least rougher than it was last year. I was baffled by that. The only conclusion that I could arrive at was that I had a clearer mind this year. I was much more aware that this chapter of my life is closed.  This date will always be a part of my life, but as time passes the memory of this date will fade.  I don't know exactly why that reality struck me this year, but it did.  I was so grateful for the people that remembered and the ones who didn't even know but when they found out were so supportive.  I am sometimes in awe of how God brings people into your life to walk you through these kinds of days.  They may not even say anything, but for me just knowing that they are there and are either praying for me or just giving me a hug makes all the difference in the world.  For that, I thank you.

Next happening.  I have a garden at my house!!!!  I've never tried to grow anything in Midland so we will see how it goes.  Saturday afternoon was spent fixing sprinklers, digging up some unwanted vines and making the dirt garden worthy.  It took about 5 hours but hopefully in a few months it will be worth it!  We planted tomatoes, zucchini, bell peppers, hot peppers, and cucumbers. There are more plants on the other side, but I only took this picture this morning.   I'm so excited about this!!  

I went out of town this past week to Dallas for a church conference.  My co-workers and I were able to attend a Rangers game while we were there.  They had to stop the game in the middle of it because of rain, but after about 45 minutes the game continued.  I love baseball so it was fun to be able to go to one in person again, even if I am a Braves fan.  We had fun and ate lots of good food that we don't have in Midland.  It was nice to leave Midland for a few days, but I always can't wait to get home.

May has had its ups and downs so far but that isn't stopping me from moving forward.  I am grateful for the past and wouldn't change it, but I'm looking towards the future and what God has planned.

Romans 5:3-5 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

One of many beautiful west Texas sunsets

Good Friday

We had a Good Friday service at church.  I loved it!  There was Scripture read, hymns sung and then communion.  One of the hymns that we sang was "The Old Rugged Cross".

On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.


Chorus:
So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
'til my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.


In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me.


To that old rugged cross I will ever be true,
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then He'll call me some day to my home far away, 
where His glory forever I'll share.


There are times when it hits me how much Jesus did for me on the cross.  This was one of those times.  The chorus made me want to cry, but I didn't.

Without the cross, we would be lost in our sin.

Without the cross, we would have no hope.

Without the cross, we would never experience His love for us.

Without the cross, we would be separated from Him forever.

Those are some scary thoughts! I couldn't help but think as I sang that chorus, how grateful I am for the cross.  It means so much to know that I can cling to the cross until He calls me home.  Because of the cross, I will be able to spend eternity at His feet, worshiping my Creator!

Musings

I've had lots of possible blog posts recently, but haven't gotten around to actually writing them down.  I need to be more disciplined in that, since this is my journal.

The first subject that has been on my mind is thankfulness.

I am thankful for lots of things, but specifically thankful for the trials that God has put in my life.  I think I have said it in the past, however, I have really taken it to heart lately.  I know I am opening myself up by saying this but I almost prefer going through hardships.   I have no choice but to depend on the Lord during those times.   I'm thankful for them because I have learned so much about myself and how to help others.  I've learned with God in control, I don't have to worry, I need to trust.  I've learned that God can take a bad situation and have good come out of it.  I've learned that sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is just tell them you are praying for them.  Prayer changes hearts!  I've learned that God is always there even when it seems that everything is out of control.  I've learned that all I really need is Him.  Do I remember all of these things, no, but I'm getting better!

Secondly.  I've really been thinking a lot about the reason God chose to save me and place me where I am right now.  I feel overwhelmed when I think about it.  Why did He choose to use little ol' me?!  I have no idea, but He did.  I spend so much time thinking about the future (I'm a planner) that I fail to live in the moment.  I'm in a hurry and I don't look for opportunities to stop and smile at someone or talk with them about their life/struggles.  I will admit, I'm not a people person, I would be a hermit if I could sometimes!  However, God has called us to be the salt and light to the world, I can't do that if I close myself off.  I listened to a couple tell their "story" a couple of weeks ago, telling of the struggles that they had had in their marriage and how God has changed their lives.  They now help teach the marriage classes!  I was talking with her after wards and I was telling her how encouraging it was for me.  She got this look on her face and said, "look at your beautiful story, you should tell yours."  My gut feeling, no way could I do it.  The reason, I feel like I barely held on, not always doing the grief process well.  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that isn't right.  I was encouraged by their story because they were real, they told of the struggles.  They didn't focus on not doing it well they focused on how when they were struggling, God met them where they needed Him to.  They knew that God was the only thing that helped them.  I too can attest to that, without Him, I wouldn't have held on, just barely making it.  He is the only thing I could hold onto and get me through those difficult times.  It wasn't me, He gets the glory.  Will I start telling my story, perhaps, but I want it to be for His glory alone.

I am doing well.  No major things going on, just life in general.  I'm never bored and there is always something going on.  I get to go on vacation in the next week or so, so I'm excited for the break.  It is warming up here in Texas and I'm so glad! We just need some rain, badly!  I guess God knows that though.

But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved),
and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 2:4-7

That just makes me smile!

He always provides

I am so glad I have a different mindset than I did a couple of years ago.  The things that I've learned and hopefully can retain have helped so much!  A week or so ago, slab leak number two happened.  Today it is supposed to be fixed.  Yeah, it has been an inconvenience, but thankfully, it has been minor.  The amazing thing is that God already provided the money to get it fixed.  Would I have liked to keep that "extra" money in savings?  Of course, but my mindset now is that it is only money and if that is the worst thing in my life this year, I'm all for it! :)  If you ever doubted that God is faithful and doesn't always provide for His children, I'm living proof that He does.  He always knows exactly what I need and when I need it.  I love that about Him!  It just makes me smile to be His child and know that He is my Provider!

P.S. He also provided people who can take out cabinets!